


i would rather let you see my face than my heart

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: Holly's Hobbit Birthday Fics 2020 [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Curses, Gen, Love, M/M, Monsters, Suicidal Thoughts, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: Jarvis is the first one it happened to.Written for fluffypanda's prompt: Anyone in love with Tony is treated with a delightful curse that slowly turns them into a monster. Guess who didn't realize he had feelings for Tony?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Holly's Hobbit Birthday Fics 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668586
Comments: 86
Kudos: 254





	1. In Which Tony Learns His Place

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a Rebecca Ashe quote. Written for fluffypanda as part of my hobbit birthday bash.... and thn it got a bit out of control. Whoops?

Jarvis is the first one it happened to. Tony doesn't find out that not everyone's butler has horns and a tail until he's ten and Ty invites him over during spring break. Tony knows better than to be rude or to ask why Donovan looks like a normal human, but the thought lingers with him until he gets home at the end of the school year.

He finally broaches the topic with Jarvis a good three days into his summer vacation.

"Jarvis. Why do you have horns and a tail?"

"I told you, Master Stark. It is because I am in your service."

Tony hears the difference now. He didn't make the connection before when his arrogance and ignorance had blinded him, but now he can hear the distinction loud and clear. "So it's my fault."

Jarvis' eyes go wide. "Master Stark?"

"You said it was because you were in my service. But Ty's butler, he doesn't have anything like that. So it's not because you're a butler, like you wanted me to think. It's because of me."

Jarvis stares at him, unblinking, before he looks away. "Yes, Master Stark. It is because of you." He turns back to Tony, eyes blazing. "But never ever think that this is your fault."

Tony blinks. "What do you mean?"

"It means that yes, this transformation is because of you, but it certainly is not your fault. If the blame can be laid at anyone's feet at all, it is certainly not at yours."

"What are you talking about?"

Jarvis starts to reach out for him, but draws his hand back at the last moment. "I'm talking about the fact that I have loved only one person as much as I love you, Master Stark, and it is that affection that has brought on this blight, not you yourself."

Tony rears back. "You're saying it's— it's because you _care about me_?"

Jarvis looks pained. "It's more complicated than that Master Stark."

"Don't bullshit me, Jarvis, what's more complicated than the fact that I'm the reason you have horns and a tail?"

Jarvis reaches out for him, but Tony flinches away. Jarvis' lips pull back into a grimace. "You have to understand, Master Stark, that telling you this will hurt you more than it hurts me."

"The truth can't hurt more than a lie."

Jarvis nods. "Very well." He leads the way into the kitchen where he starts pulling ingredients out of the cupboards. Jarvis usually doesn't usually cook unless he's worried or trying to soothe or distract Tony. This time it feels different. "We both know that your father has… a complicated relationship with you. The thing that he's never told you is what it took for your mother to conceive all those years ago."

Tony's breath catches. "What?"

"Your parents didn't expect to be able to conceive easily, but they did expect to be able to at some point. So as your mother aged and a pregnancy became more and more dangerous, your father… he grew worried." Jarvis looks at him, pain and worry in his eyes. "He wanted an heir, Master Stark. Maybe even more than a child, he wanted someone to carry on his legacy. That someone is you."

Tony tries to swallow. His throat feels tight and raw, but he can't bring himself to stop Jarvis.

"They went to every doctor they could find, every specialist in the field, and even some that were a bit less… conventional in their approach to the matter. In the end it was one of your father's wild goose chases that did it. He's never said where he got the medication, but he gave it to your mother for a solid month before she conceived. And then. Well.

"The further along she was, the more intense her symptoms became. First it was the teeth. Her canines grew at an alarming rate. Then she, like me, grew horns. By the time she was four months along she had figured it out. She knew that whatever Howard had given her had come at a price. One that she was much less willing to pay than he was."

Tony shakes his head. "You can't mean all this."

Jarvis purses his lips, tilting his head to the side. "I can stop if you want me to, Master Stark."

"My mom doesn't have horns. You do!"

Jarvis nods. "It's true. Your mother cut her horns off halfway through her third trimester. It nearly killed both of you. She hides the stubs in her hair, but they're there, Master Stark, I can assure you of that."

"And the tail?"

"She never grew one. She halted the process before it could go any further."

"But you didn't."

"No, Master Stark."

"Why not?"

Jarvis's smile wavers. Tony only catches the edge of it, but it's enough. "I daresay she had a good deal more to lose than I did."

Tony looks away. Jarvis stays silent as he maneuvers through the kitchen. Tony tries not to notice the way the scent of chocolate and cinnamon warm something in his stomach. "What did she have to lose?"

"Please don't ask me that, Master Stark."

Tony closes his eyes. It's more damning than anything else that Jarvis could have said. "Oh."

The kitchen stays quiet save for the gentle simmer of the chocolate on the stove. Jarvis doesn't seem to want to share any more, nor does Tony feel a need to press. When Jarvis sets the hot chocolate on the counter in front of Tony, Tony almost doesn't reach for it. He stares off into the distance, heart in his throat, and tries to remember what it felt like not to hurt like this.

Jarvis settles down beside him and nudges the mug a little closer to him. "Drink, Master Stark."

Tony looks down into the warm brown of the chocolate. "So this… whatever it is that Dad gave Mom. That's what made her change?"

"In a way. It changed you, Tony. Made you a person that was so deserving of love that it had to be made visible. That you had to be able to know who loved you no matter what. That's why the magic exists, and that's why I wear my horns and tail with pride."

Tony lifts the mug to his lips, taking a slow sip. "But if what you said is true… if it's true, Mom doesn't feel that way."

There's a moment of silence that Tony knows is Steve choosing his words carefully. "She made a choice about how visible her love was going to be. That was her decision to make. That doesn't mean she loves you any less than I do."

Tony takes a slow sip of his chocolate. The cinnamon seems brighter than it has ever before. "Doesn't it, though?"

"No, Tony. Your mother loves you."

"And Dad? Dad, who doesn't have wings or a tail or fangs? Who put you in this situation in the first place? What am I to him?"

Jarvis looks away. "My dear boy. Your father has alway been a mystery, even to me. I do not know why he did what he did, why he chose this path for you and for himself. But he did, and that is all that either of us can know without asking him ourselves."

"Have you? Asked him?"

"Only once."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing that I wish to repeat here."

Tony looks away again. glaring down into his mug. "I wish he hadn't done it. I wish I hadn't been born."

Jarvis reaches out, squeezing his forearm as gently as he can. "I don't, Master Stark. I am honored to know you, and I am grateful that you are alive."

"Because you have a job."

"Because I love you."

"Oh." Tony stares at Jarvis, his head tilted to the side. "Oh."

Jarvis' smile is small and cautious, but it's there, and Tony lets that buoy him up even as the reality of his birth sinks into the back of his mind. This is who he is to his father — a legacy left behind to carry on in his place. This is who he is to his mother — a burden and a weight that she so despised that she cut away the marks of her love for him before he was even born. But Jarvis loves him. Perhaps it truly is only because he has a job and is grateful for it, but whatever the reason it's enough to have Jarvis willing to bear the burden of the horns and wings that come with loving Tony. Whether that love is superficial or not, it has to be enough.

It has to be.

* * *

Rhodey's transformation is different from his mother's and Jarvis'. It doesn't start with his teeth. He doesn't grow horns or a tail, not at first. For Rhodey, it starts with his eyes.

Tony doesn't actually notice that anything's wrong until Rhodey comes back to the apartment one day looking haggard and worn. "Something wrong, Rhodey?"

"Just medical professionals that don't know what they're talking about."

That has Tony sitting up straight to look at his best friend. "What?"

Rhodey waves him off. "It's more weird than dangerous. I've worn contacts since I was fifteen, but I haven't needed them for the last two weeks. I went in to get my eyes tested and they just said it could be a natural healing process. I'm calling bullshit; it happened too fast to be anything natural, but if that's what they think it is, I'm sure as shit not qualified to argue with them."

Tony frowns. He hadn't looked closely enough before, but he can see the way Rhodey's eyes look lined with a bright yellow color he's never seen before. He gets to his feet, walking over to stand in front of Rhodey, frowning up at his eyes. "They're yellow."

"What?"

"Your eyes are yellow. They didn't say anything about that?"

Rhodey starts to answer, but Tony's too distracted by the second set of eyelids that slink out at Rhodey blinks. One pair, then the other, as though they've always been there. The second set moves horizontally instead of vertically, and all at once Tony knows what this is. He hears Rhodey answering but doesn't parse the words, too busy trying to swallow past the sudden hollow feeling in his chest.

"Oh, fuck."

Rhodey grabs him by the elbows, steadying him as he sways. "Tones?"

Tony shakes his head. "I need to go."

"Tony, what—"

"I need to go, Rhodey. I need to— I'll be back, but I— I need to—" Tony pulls away from Rhodey's grip, stepping deftly around Rhodey when he tries to get in the way. "I'll be back in a bit, I just. I need to go."

"Tony—"

"Just give me a minute, Rhodey. Just give me a minute and I'll tell you everything when I get back."

Rhodey doesn't stop him, but Tony can tell that he wants to. Tony grabs his jacket and heads out into the November cold, barely feeling it on his skin as he wanders across campus. He'd always thought no one could ever care about him the way Jarvis does. Never thought that there could be someone that gave enough of a damn to change the way Jarvis has. It would be too much to ask to think that someone could want that from Tony the way he might want it from them, but it's clear that the universe has other ideas. For it to be Rhodey, though… that feels like too much to take.

It takes the better part of an hour for Tony to realize his fingers have gone a bit numb and his nose is trying valiantly not to drip all over everything from the cold. He zips his jacket up as high as it can go, burrowing into it just a bit as though that could ward off the chill. It's a meager ward, but it's enough to make him feel a bit less like the reckless idiot he knows he is.

Rhodey's waiting in the kitchen with two mugs, one still steaming the other likely empty while he waits for Tony to make it back. As soon as Tony steps into the apartment, Rhodey gets to his feet with the empty mug in hand and pours Tony a drink from the coffee pot. Tony smiles at him, desperately grateful and a little worried at the same time. He sits down at the kitchen table with Rhodey, accepting the mug gratefully. He wraps his hands around it, wincing a little at the change in temperature. Rhodey sits down across from him.

He doesn't ask. He knows better by now than to push when Tony's a heartbeat away from running, and Tony is grateful. Rhodey deserves the truth, and Tony won't keep it from him. That doesn't mean it's going to be easy on either of them. So Rhodey waits and Tony stares down into his coffee until it's closer to tepid than hot and when the weight of the silence gets to be too much, Tony looks up at Rhodey.

"It's my fault." Rhodey frowns, but doesn't say anything. Tony knows that's as much permission as he's likely to get. "It's my fault that your eyes are all fucked up."

"They're not fuced up, Tones," Rhodey points out. "They're just… not what they used to be."

Tony nods. "Whatever you want to call it, it's my fault. My— My dad, he. He did something when they were trying to get pregnant. I don't know what it was. I don't know if he knows what it was. But it means that—" Tony lifts his mug to his lips, desperate for something to cover his uncertainty. Rhodey's still looking at him, steady and strong when Tony lowers his mug. "It means that the people that care about me get turned into monsters."

Rhodey blinks. "Come again?"

"Jarvis, he— he has horns and a tail and these fucking massive canines. He says my mom had horns too when she was pregnant. I don't know if I believe that, but I know that Jarvis wouldn't lie unless he thought there was a damn good reason. So, yeah. Monsters." Tony looks up at Rhodey, a self-deprecating smile on his face. "Guess you know now why no one ever wants me in their life."

Rhodey stays quiet for a long time after Tony's declaration. He sips at whatever's in his mug, eyes drifting from Tony to a spot just over his left shoulder and back again. "Guess that's their loss."

Tony blinks. "What?"

Rhodey shrugs. "As long as no one can explain it, that means there's no reason for them to take anything away from me. If they think this is just natural healing or whatever, this doesn't have to change anything. Did you miss the part where my eyesight's actually better now?" Rhodey shakes his head. "It would take a hell of a lot for me to be complaining about that."

Tony stares at Rhodey for long enough that Rhodey lifts a curious eyebrow. "I just never thought anyone would see it that way."

Rhodey doesn't reach out to him. He's learned by now that Tony doesn't take well to unasked for physical affection, but Tony can see that he wants to reach out. "Well, I do."

"I can tell." Tony takes another few sips of his coffee. "So I take it you don't want to move out?"

"Hell no. You're my best friend, Tony. Nothing, not even weird freaky magic shit is going to change that."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Magic is just science we don't understand yet."

"Yeah, but if you're not worried enough about it to go digging and try to figure out what's going on, I'd bet I don't need to be worried about it either."

Tony laughs, and if the sound is ever so slightly hysterical, Rhodey doesn't say anything about it.

* * *

Tony tells Pepper the night after Obadiah tries to kill them. He isn't sure if her change has already started, but only someone that actually gives a damn about him would have gone to those lengths. She might just be someone that would do just about anything for the job, but Tony would like to think that he knows her better than that. She takes the information with all the good grace that someone whose boss has nearly gotten them killed can, which is to say that she accuses him of lying to her, calls Rhodey three times until he answers, threatens to leave no less than seven times, and then realizes that, no, Tony actually isn't just doing this to make her life hell, he really is cursed. Once he brings her around, she sits down next to him, staring down at her hands for a long time. Tony doesn't say anything. He knows it's a lot to take in and doesn't want to push her away by asking for more than she can give. He doesn't look at her, twisted up with his eyes on the horizon as they sit on the couch. It's why he doesn't see it coming when Pepper reaches out and takes his hand in hers. He jumps a little, blinking down at his hand and then up at her.

"I'm still going to need time, Tony."

Tony nods, not quite sure what he's hearing. "Whatever time you need, Pep."

Pepper's eyes go soft and warm as she leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She must have seen the uncertainty in his eyes if this is any indication. "Thanks, hotshot."

Tony thinks he understands. Thinks he knows where this could be headed. This isn't the way he'd have wanted her to find out, nor does he want her to risk anything that she doesn't want to, but, selfishly, Tony's grateful that she's willing to take this risk for him.

Six months later when her horns start to grow in, Tony thinks he's ready to accept the reality of his curse. Six months after that when she grows wings instead of a tail, Tony thinks maybe, just maybe, they're going to get out of this in one piece. A year after that when she finds out about the palladium poisoning in the worst way possible, Tony finally understands. Loving him is a curse. He should have known that from the start. That's what the transformations are meant to tell him. Loving him destroys the important people in his life. There's no way around that. Which means there's only one way to make this work. He has to find a way to stop people from loving him. To keep them safe. To keep the ones that could fall victim at arm's length.

He won't let anyone else fall prey to this curse, so long as he can help it.

* * *

When an alien makes off with a powerful artifact SHIELD has been keeping secret for the last fifty years, Captain America finds his way up from the bottom of the ocean, and an ancient demigod finds his way back to Earth, Tony lets himself be drawn in. Even so, he holds them all at arms' length, Bruce especially. The man looks like he could use a few friends, looks like he could do with some important people in his life, but Tony can't be that for him. Won't be that for him. There's too much at stake for Tony to let him view himself even more as a monster than he already does. Thor's a bit too friendly for Tony's taste, and even though he can't be sure if the curse will work on aliens too, he's not about to take the risk. Nat and Fury are both too set in their spy-like ways to fall victim to something like _caring_ , and Coulson's dead before Tony can figure out just how soft and fuzzy his heart might really be. Cap seemed to bring that out in him in a way Tony's never seen before.

For his part, Cap's the one Tony's least worried about. The man has made it clear from the first minute they laid eyes on each other that he wants exactly nothing to do with Tony. Tony can't blame him. He might be the only person on this haphazard team with an ounce of sense.

Still, as Tony flies a missile through a wormhole with a phone ringing through to voicemail in his ear, he can't help but wonder what this whole ride might have been like without his curse.

Waking up to beautiful blue eyes on the ground of an utterly demolished New York City jars something in Tony's heart that he hadn't known was reachable anymore. For the first time in a long time, Tony wonders what it would be like for more than two people on this godforsaken earth to love him. 

It doesn't matter, though. It's not his life to have. Even thinking that is a sign of weakness, a sign that he needs to stop reaching so damn hard and let the world do what it must to him. He's not worthy of the love that people give him, and even thinking that is evidence of his arrogance. A reminder of why he's been gifted this curse in the first place. It's time to put everything back in place to ensure that he's as distant and untouchable as he's ever been, keeping space between himself and the people that he loves.

Even with his conviction renewed, Pepper and Rhodey are having exactly none of that, the same way they have for the last two years. They both push past the walls he tries to put up, making it clear to Tony from day one that they're not going anywhere. Pepper even seems to think that they can continue to make this romantic relationship work. Tony's willing to try. Goodness knows he's always been more selfish than anyone other than the media gave him credit for. He'll take what Pepper is willing to give him, take whatever either of them will give him until they realize what a mistake they've made.

He even slips at one point and invites Bruce to live in the Tower with him. Clint and Nat follow in close succession, and even Thor starts sticking around at the Tower when he's on Earth. Steve's the last holdout, but someone must convince him to come live with them, because between one day and the next there's a sixth member of their merry bunch eating breakfast at the kitchen table with them.

It's around that time that Tony fucks off to California for a few months, to try to get his head screwed on straight again. Pepper follows him, trying to needle him into coming back to New York with her every time she goes. She tells him about the Tower, about the way the Avengers have made it their home. About how they ask about him every time she stays in the penthouse, and how she wishes he didn't ask her to make his excuses every time.

"You should see Steve," she says over champagne for whatever big success SI has had recently. Something to do with their medical division, he thinks. "The man looks like a kicked puppy any time I tell him you're not coming back any time soon."

Tony snorts. "Right. Because _he's_ the one that would be missing me."

Pepper reaches out, stealing his hand as he lifts his glass to his lips to take another drink. "He thinks he's the reason you left, Tony. If the team and I hadn't been able to convince him otherwise, I think he'd have moved out weeks ago."

"What? Why would he do that? The man's welcome in any of my properties, god knows my father—"

"Oh, really? So I could drag him out here one weekend so you could show him the sights?"

Tony falls silent at that. "You know what I mean, Pep."

Pepper sighs and looks away. "I know what you think you mean, Tony. I'm also tired of you pushing away perfectly good people that want you in their lives."

"They don't know what the cost is."

Pepper closes her eyes, her wings fluttering. Tony wants so badly to reach out and touch them, but he's learned that that's a one way ticket to her closing off. It's not that he never gets to touch them — apparently they're incredibly sensitive and he's never held back from touching them when they fuck — it's that there's a time and a context where she'll let him touch them, and other than those situations he's SOL. "And if they did?"

"We both know they'd run. Rhodey would've. Jarvis should've. And you—"

"Don't you dare put words in my mouth, Stark," Pepper snaps, eyes harsh as she whips around to look at him. "We both know I wouldn't change a damn thing."

Tony swallows. He doesn't have a rebuttal, at least, not one that she'll hear, and he knows that the discussion is as good as closed at that point. Pepper certainly seems to think so. It's part of why he loves her so much. Her convictions, her certainty, her commitment to everything she does. It's why he does everything he can to keep her safe. It's why he keeps to himself, refusing to let the superhero life that wants to keep them apart touch him any more. And it's why he loses it when he thinks he's lost her to Killian. He does everything he can to fight him off, to make him pay, but in the end she's the one that saves him, and isn't that the way it always goes?

Tony can only watch as Extremis burns the last of Pepper's monstrous form out of her. He isn't sure if that hurts or soothes him when he realizes that her wings are gone. Either way, it makes it so much easier to kiss her cheek and promise her that he'll always love her, even if she doesn't always love him, and to refuse to give up the suits for her. She nods, like she knew this was coming. She reaches up to cup his cheek and presses a kiss to his forehead before she steps back and lets one of his suits envelop her and get them down from the sinking ship.

Telling, that, Tony thinks. And with one less person to love him like that, the way he's always wanted to be loved, it's that much easier to abandon Malibu and move back to New York.

Better to be among distant friends than to be alone with his memories.


	2. In Which Steve Learns a Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the new tag.

It's been a good three months since Tony moved back out to New York full time. Steve still isn't quite sure what it was that had made him run so far and so fast after he'd moved in, but between Pepper's reassurances while Tony had been hiding and Tony's own conviction upon his return, Steve can only take it at face value. It's easier in the Tower with Tony there. Safer. More comfortable. Steve had always known that this was Tony's space, Tony's world, and it's nice to be reminded of that with the way he moves through every room like he owns it. Which, Steve supposes, he does.

The first time Tony disappears for four days straight, Steve assumes he's traveling for SI and had just forgotten to tell them. It isn't until Pepper shows up, haggard and irritated that he realizes how wrong he is.

"Where is he?" she asks.

Steve's the only one in the common area, and can only blink at her dumbly. "Who?"

Pepper rolls her eyes. "Tony. Where's Tony?"

"I assumed he was on a business trip?" Steve doesn't mean for it to sound like a question.

Pepper's eyes flash. She turns on her heel, storming toward the elevator. "I swear to god, if I find that man crushed under one of his suits again I'm taking away his lab rights for the next six months."

Steve doesn't mean to follow Pepper to the elevator. He just wants to make sure that she doesn't rip Tony to shreds. Three minutes ago he'd have thought that impossible, but he's seen Peggy angry and knows what she could do in a pinch. Pepper kind of reminds him of a less military version of Peggy, and he's pretty sure she could go toe-to-toe with Tony on his best day and come out on top. He doesn't want that for his… teammate? Co-leader? ~~Friend?~~

"Miss Potts—"

"Don't you _Miss Potts_ me, Captain. I know what he's doing and you're not going to stop me."

All at once Steve is certain that Pepper could take Tony out on his best day. Himself too, if she set her mind to it. He follows behind her as quickly and carefully as he can, doing whatever he can to try to quell her anger. It doesn't seem to do any good, but Steve likes to think the attempt counts for something.

Pepper's already shouting at Tony by the time Steve makes it into the lab. "—and for god's sake you'd better not be drunk inventing again, Tony."

"'m not!"

"JARVIS?"

"Sir has spent the last seventeen hours fully sober."

"And before that?"

"I believe his exact words were, 'I want to be so drunk I can't hear myself think.'"

The silence is telling, and Steve finds himself suddenly at a loss as to what to do. He stays off to the side, quiet and unobtrusive as he waits for some sort of sign.

Pepper sighs. "Tony. Please."

"Don't, Pep. Just don't."

"You can't keep doing this."

"I can and I will."

"It's just an anniversary."

Tony laughs, dry and angry in a way that makes Steve flinch. "Maybe to you."

"Tony—"

"No, you don't get to talk to me like that anymore, Pepper. You gave up that right three months ago."

" _I_ gave up that right? Tony, you're the one who—"

"Don't patronize me, Pepper. We both saw that coming a mile off, and we both know I couldn't have stopped it. Maybe you couldn't have either, but that doesn't mean I don't get to wallow for a little while." Steve's never seen Tony look so lost when he looks up at Pepper. "Just let me have this."

Steve can't see Pepper's expression from where he's standing. He does see her shoulders hunch in a little, as though to ward off an uncomfortable feeling. "Just promise me you won't be in here alone."

"God _dammit_ , Pepper, the whole point of this is to—"

"Kill yourself? Yeah, I don't think so, Tony. I may have lost the right to mother-hen you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you kill yourself."

Tony doesn't say anything. "Fine. Fine, whatever."

Pepper nods and then, to Steve's utter surprise, turns to look at him. Her smile is sweet and pointed and deadly dangerous "You'll make sure he keeps that promise, won't you Captain?"

Steve blinks. "Excuse me?"

Pepper's face softens just a touch. "You'll make sure someone stays with him while he's down here for me, won't you?"

"I—"

"Don't drag him into this, Pepper."

Steve blinks at the ferocity in Tony's voice. It's the kind he's only ever heard when Tony's about to do something really, really stupid on the battlefield. Steve narrows his eyes at him. "Of course, Miss Potts. I'll keep an eye on him."

He sees Pepper's smile out of the corner of his eye, sad and a little deflated, but there nonetheless. She crosses the room and puts a hand on Steve's elbow. He looks down at her, heart in his throat. "Thank you, Captain." She turns to Tony. "Don't make the poor Captain work too hard, now, you hear me Tony?"

"Fuck you too, Pepper."

Pepper's lips twist, and Steve can see the way his words hurt. She doesn't say anything else to Tony, though. She goes up on her tiptoes and kisses Steve's cheek and then she's breezing out the doorway just as effortlessly as she'd breezed in.

The workshop stays silent for a long time, Steve staring after Pepper as though he could drag her back with his eyes alone, Tony apparently taking a break from whatever it is that he's working on. Eventually some sort of clanging starts up behind Steve, and he turns automatically to face Tony and see what he's on about.

The anger on Tony's features is almost enough to give Steve pause. Almost. "You shouldn't talk to your dame like that, Tony."

"Fuck you and the high horse you rode in on, Rogers. And get the hell out of my workshop."

Steve crosses the room to the couch nestled off to one side, settling down on it with his arms crossed. "Seriously, though, what's going on with you two? Are you fighting?"

Tony snorts, and the clanging gets a little louder. "Something like that."

"Tony."

Tony whacks whatever it is that he's working on one more time before sighing and looking up at Steve. "We broke up, Cap. After the whole thing with the Mandarin. We're not together anymore."

Steve blinks. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh. But I still technically own the company and she's still technically CEO so I can't exactly walk out of her life and she can't exactly walk out of mine so we're— we're figuring it out."

"That doesn't explain why she had to come find you in your lab."

Tony snorts. "Yeah, well. She's the one that doesn't know how to let me be."

"I have a feeling you know exactly why she can't let you be."

That seems to be the wrong thing to say if Tony's reaction is any indication. He looks up at Steve, eyes blazing, and leaps to his feet, throwing aside whatever he'd been working with. "So you're with her now, huh? Think I'm down here drinking myself into a stupor? Think I'll just do whatever I have to to keep her off my trail? Think I'd just up and leave her behind because that's easier than—"

Steve's chest goes tight at the sob in Tony's voice. "Tony—"

"You don't get it, Rogers. You just don't get it."

Steve could yell. He could yell and scream and rage and do whatever it takes to make Tony understand that he does get it, better than maybe anyone else. That he's lost before, had the people he loves torn from his grasp before he could do a damn thing about it. That the loss of Bucky and Peggy and the Commandos is still a fresh wound.

But Tony wouldn't hear that. Not now.

"Then make me understand." Tony looks up at him, eyes wide and bewildered at his words. "Make me understand, Tony. Because from where I'm sitting it looks like you're both just torturing yourselves over something that you could have if you both really wanted it."

Tony blinks. He looks down at his hands as though they have some sort of answer. Steve knows they don't, but his heart aches with the way Tony seems to be seeking something beyond what he can see. "It's. It's complicated, Steve."

Steve leans forward, clasping his hands between his knees. "Then explain it to me. Uncomplicate it. Isn't that what you do? Help people see the world you see?"

Tony goes very still, still staring at his hands as though they are the key to all the mysteries of the universe. "I guess."

Steve sits back, patting the couch next to him. "Then come on. Help me understand."

Tony moves slowly, as though through a dream as he crosses the lab to settle at Steve's side. He holds himself stiffly, as though not entirely certain where to start or what to say. How to act. "It's. Complicated."

Steve nods. "You mentioned."

Tony's back goes stiff. "Right. Right, I—" He swallows. "There were. Irreconcilable differences."

Steve frowns. "Like?"

"Like. Like. Like the fact that I'm a superhero that takes ridiculous risks without thought for my safety."

"And?"

"And she didn't like that."

"And you didn't want to change."

Tony closes his eyes, folding nearly in half as though with the weight of what Steve has said. "No. No, I didn't think I could."

Steve swallows. There's a heavy sort of emptiness in Tony's eyes, something longing and distant that tugs at Steve's chest. He knows that feeling, has felt it himself, but to see it in Tony hurts so much deeper than he would have thought. He wants to reach out, wants to extend a hand and remind Tony that he's not alone, but he can't be certain that it will be well received. "I'm sorry."

Tony's lips quirk up in a tiny smile. "Yeah. Me too."

Steve can't be sure how he knows, that he's certain that that was the wrong thing to say. He wracks his brain, trying to think of something better to say. The best he comes up with is weak, he knows, but it's something. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're still a hero."

Tony blinks and turns to him. "Yeah?"

Steve nods. "Yeah. It means… it means I get to have you in my life. You and everyone else. I don't know what the twenty-first century would have been like if you hadn't been here when I woke up, but I'm glad that I don't have to find out."

Tony's smile is small, barely-there, but present enough for Steve to know that it's real. Tony turns away, staring off into the middle distance. "Yeah, well. You're okay too, I guess."

Steve grins, elbowing Tony lightly. "That all you have to say about me?"

When Tony turns back to him, his eyes are serious. The breath catches in Steve's throat, shock and fear and worry mixing together in his chest. "No," Tony says. "Thank you."

Steve may only have lived with Tony for a few months, but he knows how heavy those words must weigh on his tongue. He nods, letting his face take on all the gravity that such a situation requires. "You're welcome."

Tony's lips quirk. Then he's elbowing Steve back and getting to his feet to get back to work. Steve feels the space stretch between them, ready to snap them back to their old places at opposite ends of the table, even as they stand side-by-side on the battlefield. It tightens something in Steve's throat and leaves him leaning toward Tony, wanting desperately to keep this magical moment for just a little longer.

"You mind if I stay down here for a bit?"

Tony stops short, turning to face Steve with wide, guarded eyes. "And do what, exactly?"

Steve draws a blank for a split second. What excuse could he possibly give to want to be down in Tony's workshop, the one place that represents everything he's purported to hate since coming to the twenty-first century. The too-fast technology and the too-loud noises. It had all been too much at first.

But here, now, with Tony standing in front of him, none of that seems to matter.

"To learn."

Tony raises an eyebrow. "You looking to replace me, Muscles?"

Steve chuckles, willing to let the jibe slide because he can see the fear in Tony's eyes, can hear it in his voice. "No, Tony. Just want to understand what all this is if—" He stops short, his mind coming to an abrupt halt at the thought of anything happening to Tony in the field. "If you ever need a hand in the field."

Tony's lips quirk into a bitter smile, but he lets the near-slip slide. "Gotcha. Well. If you really want to learn, the best way is by doing."

Which is how the two of them come up to dinner with grease under their fingernails and all up their forearms. Bruce sends them both to take a shower before they come back down to eat, but Steve wouldn't change it for the world. If this is what Tony needs to stay upright, Steve is more than happy to oblige.

* * *

At some point Steve's time in Tony's workshop has become less about a promise to Pepper and more about enjoying the time with the man that is slowly becoming one of his best friends. He's not Bucky — no one could ever be Bucky, though goodness knows he and Sam are trying to find the man in question — but Tony fills a different need in his chest. He's the friend Steve has needed since waking up in the future, in a world that knows only the side of himself that he showed them and not the man underneath. Tony pulls no punches, holding true to his convictions no matter who gets in his way. He stands tall and proud and takes his licks but doesn't let them break him.

He's exactly the kind of man Steve has always wanted to be, which is why he doesn't think anything of it when he wants to spend more and more time down in the workshop with him. Tony's easy to be around, easy to be with, and Steve is completely content to just stay down in the workshop with him, sketching or drawing up strategies or, when Tony lets him, helping with whatever Tony's working on. It's an easy sort of balance, and Steve gets so used to telling Tony things that he doesn't think anything of it when he mentions the headache he's been having off and on for about three weeks.

Tony turns away from his project as soon as Steve mentions it. "Headache?"

Steve shrugs. "Might just be from that knock to the head I took a few weeks ago."

Tony shakes his head. "That was only ten days ago. This headache sounds like it's been going on longer."

"Could've been exacerbated by that. It's probably nothing, Tony; I shouldn't have said anything."

But Tony's already wiping his hands down on a cloth and marching over to Steve. "Nuh uh. We're taking you up to Bruce to have him look you over. In fact, JARVIS—"

"I have already notified Master Bruce of your needs."

"Good," Tony says, marching over to Steve and standing in front of him, hands on his hips as he stares him down. "Come on, Steve. Up."

Steve glares at him. "Didn't know you were such a mother hen."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Should've asked Pepper for more details before you agreed to be my babysitter," Tony says sharply. Steve knows they both know that's not the reason he stays down here anymore, but the words sting. "Come on. Up."

Steve sighs and lets himself be coaxed off of Tony's exceptionally comfortable couch and into the elevator. Tony's oddly quiet on the ride up, rocking back and forth on his heels as they go. When they arrive on the medical floor, Tony ushers Steve out, nudging him when he thinks Steve's moving too slow. Steve laughs the whole way, too busy being amused to be irritated. "Com on, Tony, it's not a big deal, seriously."

"Bruce will be the judge of that," Tony mutters darkly. "Come on, man with a plan, get your ass in gear."

Steve rolls his eyes and lets himself be shoved, trying not to melt into the feeling of Tony's hands on his back. "Alright, alright! I'm going." Tony shoves him all the way to the exam room Bruce already has set up and ready to go. Steve shakes his head, hopping up on the exam table. "Alright, Bruce. Do your worst."

Bruce smiles indulgently, like they're both in on a secret. Like they both know Tony's overreacting and just needs to do this to get him to back off. Tony huffs at the pair of them. "Just check him over, Brucie, alright?"

"You got it, Tony."

Tony sits down in a chair for a grand total of five seconds before getting back to his feet and pacing the room. Bruce does all the usual baseline checks of height, weight, temperature, all that good stuff. He frowns a little at Steve's temperature, though. Just enough to get Tony's attention.

"What? What is it?"

"His temperature's a few degrees higher than normal."

"Steve always runs hot."

Bruce nods absently. "I meant higher than normal for him."

Steve tries not to think of what fevers used to mean to him. What they used to mean for his mother and Bucky. Most of all what they could mean for Tony.

"Is that a bad thing?" Tony asks.

Bruce shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm just going to do ao quick concussion protocol and see if I can see what's what."

Steve passes the protocol with flying colors, which relaxes some of the tension in Tony's shoulders.

"Alright, then, I'm just going to check one more thing."

Bruce starts feeling around the base of Steve's skull, pressing his fingers against the less-tender spots first. It isn't until his fingers start to make their way higher up, closer to his temples that Steve starts to feel the pain.

"And here?" Bruce asks.

"I mean, it hurts, but no worse than anywhere else."

"Alright, and—" Bruce cuts himself off. Steve can feel the doctor's fingers still in his hair, pressing against the bone.

Steve flinches as Bruce presses a little harder. "Ouch. What was that for, Bruce?"

"I…" Bruce swallows. He leans in closer, pulling Steve's hair aside, presumably to get a better look at whatever he's found. "I'm going to need to order an x-ray."

Steve's stomach drops to his shoes. Tony's eyes are wide and worried as well, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere but here. "What the hell are you on about?" Tony asks.

"I just want to make sure I'm not making this up." Bruce shoots them both a nervous glance before slipping out of the exam room.

Tony looks up at him, eyes wide and worried. "Steve?"

Steve shakes his head. "I have no idea."

Twenty minutes and half a dozen x-rays later, Steve is staring at an x-ray of his skull that he can't explain for the life of him.

"They look like horns," Steve finally says, giving voice to what he's pretty sure they're all thinking. "They look like stubby little horns."

Tony makes a strangled little noise and turns on his heel, marching out of the exam room. Steve starts to follow him, but Bruce grabs him by the wrist. The move is so quick and so unlike Bruce that Steve can't help but to stop and turn to look at his friend.

"Give him a little time," Bruce says.

"What? Why? Does he know what they are?" He pauses a moment longer, searching Bruce's face. "Do _you_ know what they are?"

"I do. But it's not my place to tell you."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means— It means you need to trust Tony to explain what's going on in his own time."

When Bruce turns to look at him, Steve thinks he sees a ghost of narrow, cat-like pupils in Bruce's face. He tries not to startle, but if Bruce's gentle smile is any indication, he doesn't quite succeed. "Right. Okay. I can do that."

Bruce nods, clapping Steve on the shoulder. "Good. I'm glad we understand each other."

Steve swallows and nods again, feeling for all the world like he's just passed a test he didn't know he was taking. He steps a little further away from the exam table, and turns to face Bruce. "So, we're good, then? We're okay to just… leave this whole thing be?"

Bruce nods. "It's nothing to worry about. Just keep an eye on Tony and everything will be fine."

Steve nods. "Alright. I guess I can handle that."

And the thing is, for the most part, he can. He can keep an eye on Tony on the battlefield and he can keep an eye on Tony in the living room and the kitchen on the common floor. He can even keep an eye on Tony in the gym when he deigns to go in there.

Where he can apparently no longer keep an eye on Tony is in his workshop. JARVIS has him completely locked out, and Tony keeps the privacy screening up on the windows all the time. More than once Steve has made his way down to the workshop, sketchbook in hand, only to find his entry barred repeatedly by both man and machine. At first it's annoying and frustrating, but by the end of the second week it's become downright hurtful. Steve isn't above using his so-called puppy dog eyes at dinner when Tony's sitting across from him, but that only serves to drive Tony away from dinner sooner. Steve abandons that tactic and tries instead to bribe his way into the workshop with everything from food to caffeine. Nothing works. In the end as two weeks become three, Steve resigns himself to being locked out for the foreseeable future.

The horns, meanwhile, have been growing like crazy. They're a good three inches above his hairline even with product in it at this point. The headaches haven't gone away, but no matter how many times he asks Bruce to tell him what's going on, he doesn't get anything more than a gentle, measured "Ask Tony."

Steve doesn't have a chance to, though. For all that he's starting to think that he's seeing horns and tails and claws on his teammates that he's never seen before, he can't seem to get Tony alone long enough to ask him what's going on. It should be a simple enough question, but Tony fights him at every turn. Steve just leans into it, though, trying to make the best of a bad situation as he has so many times before.

In the end it isn't him that breaks the silence. It's JARVIS that alerts him to the fact that Tony has been down in the workshop for seventy-two hours straight without sleeping or eating. Steve can hear the concern in the AI's voice and wonders if it's going to be enough to get him into the workshop.

It is. Steve makes his way down to the workshop to find the door already wide open, Tony's music blaring from inside. Steve can't shake the relief in his chest, grateful in every way to have another chance to look out for Tony. It's not the same as watching him in the field, but it's something just as good.

Steve makes his way around the many and varied piles of engineering projects gone wrong over the last three days until he finds Tony in the center of it, muttering and pawing at the Iron Man helmet in his hands. Steve stifles a sigh and crouches down in front of his friend, gently prying the helmet from his hands. Tony whines, looking up at Steve with a petulant glare.

"Come on, Tony. Time to get you upstairs and into bed."

"Don't need sleep," Tony argues.

"I know you don't, but I do, and I won't be able to sleep if I know you aren't sleeping, alright?"

Tony scoffs. "What's that to me?"

Steve ignores the pang those words leave in his chest. "You don't want your team leader falling asleep on the job, do you?"

Tony stares at where Steve has taken his hands after taking the helmet from him. "No. No, I don't suppose I do."

Tony lets himself be eased to his feet and toward the elevator, leaning heavily against Steve the whole way. Steve gets him up to the penthouse and then, after a bit of deliberation, into the shower. Tony moans from under the shower spray, and Steve feels the tips of his ears go hot. He throws Tony's bedclothes into the ensuite and almost makes his excuses then, but the thought that Tony might fall asleep in the shower stops him short. He waits until the water shuts off, then a little longer until Tony stumbles out of the ensuite. He blinks sleepily at Steve as though trying to figure out why he's still there. Steve's heart melts a little and he steps over to Tony, guiding him to bed. Tony goes willingly, and Steve can't keep himself from tugging the comforters up over his chest.

Before Steve can turn to leave, Tony reaches out and wraps a hand around his wrist. "Didn' mean it," Tony slurs, already half asleep.

Steve blinks "Didn't mean what?"

"What I said in the shop. Didn' mean it."

"Tony, what—"

"Y'always matter to me. Always."

Steve's heart clenches. He reaches down to smooth Tony's hair down over his forehead. "I know, Tony. I know it was just the engineering binge talking."

"Not just that," Tony mumbles.

"Then what else was it?"

Steve doesn't get an answer. Tony's already dropped off to dreamland, and Steve isn't about to wake him after the way he'd been running on fumes. He gently disentangles his wrist from Tony's grip and slips out of his room, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

Tony's words stick with him for days. Even after he's been granted access to the workshop again, even as he and Tony slowly start to work their way back to the friendship they'd had before, there's still a distance there that hadn't been present before. Steve isn't sure what he's done to cause it, but also isn't so confident in their friendship that he's willing to risk it by asking. So he waits in limbo until Tony will tell him.

Tony's just as stubborn as he is though, and it isn't until his lower back starts aching and Bruce agrees to order another round of x-rays that Steve finally starts to understand what's going on.

He makes his way down to the lab with the second set of x-rays, tossing them down on the table in front of Tony. "You ever going to tell me what this is about?"

Tony's fingers clench against the worktable. "Hello to you too, Steve."

Steve closes his eyes, drawing on every last reserve of patience he has in his soul. "Tony. Bruce thinks you know what these are. You've been avoiding answering any of my questions, which leads me to believe that he's correct." He opens his eyes. "So, please. Will you just talk to me?"

Tony closes his eyes, leaning forward, swaying as though in a strong wind. "It's my fault."

Steve bites back the immediate, instinctive rejection of the idea. "Okay," he says instead. "How do you figure that?"

"Jarvis was the first one. Not—" Tony waves his hand in the air, clearly indicating his AI. "Not this JARVIS, human Jarvis, . He was the first one. Well, technically it was my mother, but she hated her horns so much she cut them off before I was even born. Jarvis, though. He never cut his off." Tony glances at the x-rays Steve had thrown down like a gauntlet that showed the clear indication of the beginnings of a tail. "His tail either."

Tony's voice has a note of resignation that pulls at Steve's chest. He isn't quite sure what to make of it, but it's enough to have him lurching into Tony's space before he can stop himself. He doesn't reach for Tony, just leans into him, reminding him that he's not alone.

Tony tosses a smile over his shoulder at Steve, quiet desperation in his eyes. "Not everyone gets horns and a tail. Rhodey got the snake eyes before his horns grew in. Pepper's the only one that's ever grown wings. It's not the same for everyone, but. Well. It's been happening more and more lately. With the team and all."

Steve frowns. "I'd never noticed."

Tony nods. "Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Not everyone can see the changes. Just people that need to know. You might want to watch out the next time Rhodey comes by, by the way. He can get a little protective."

Steve nods, taking the words with more solemnity than he thinks he's supposed to. "Noted."

Tony's answering smile is small and drops off his face too quickly. "I don't know what triggers the different components, but I know the root cause." He looks up at Steve very pointedly. "Loving me isn't an easy thing, Rogers. That's going to be true with or without horns."

Steve's breath catches. Love? Him? Tony?

Tony's mouth twists. "Don't get it twisted, Cap. There are all kinds of love. It doesn't have to be romantic. Doesn't even have to be familial. It's just gotta be strong. So whatever you're thinking, don't worry your pretty little head about it. It's not what you think it is."

Steve swallows. "Oh. Right."

Tony nods. "So. That's that, then. Any other deep, painful questions?"

Steve gives him a small, worried smile. "No. No, I don't think so."

"Good. Then I'm going to get back to work."

Steve swallows and looks away. It's not the way he'd wanted this to end, but he doesn't really have much choice in the matter. No one can divert Tony when he's on a mission, and right now, it's clear his mission is ignoring Steve. Which is really just as well, as Steve's head is turning over and over with Tony's words.

Because he might actually be in love with Tony. Romantically.


	3. In Which Steve Takes A Risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo this is now four parts instead of three? Oops? This is also vaguely cliffhanger-y, so like. You have been warned.

The thing is, now that it's been pointed out to him, Steve can't help but notice all the little ways he's attuned his schedule to Tony's. Everything from constantly keeping him in sight on the field to midnight trips to the workshop when he can't sleep to starting the coffeemaker every morning before he goes on his daily run. It's little ways Tony's gotten under his skin and into his life that, now that he sees them, he can't unsee.

He does love Tony, that much is obvious, and so too do his teammates if their inhuman appendages are anything to go by. Now that Steve has the ability to see them, every single person at the Avengers dinner table has horns, though they're all of varying sizes. Bruce's are small and spindly, present but unobtrusive, while Clint's almost brush the ceiling when he stands. The only time Steve sees someone with horns bigger than Clint's is when Rhodes comes by a few weeks after the whole incident that had initiated all of this. Nat's are the smallest of all of theirs, and Steve isn't sure how he feels about that.

Her tail, though, is the longest of all of theirs, Rhodes included. Thor's is longer than most as well, but Nat has them all beat. Steve almost wants to ask her if and how she uses it in the field, but he's pretty sure that a question like that is liable to land him with the business end of a knife between his eyes. He keeps his curiosities to himself and vows to watch her when they're in the field next. She and Clint are also the only ones that have those weird cat-like eyes all the time. They come and go on Bruce's face, and Steve doesn't let himself wonder or worry about that too much. It's not his business, and Bruce seems to have it all under control well enough.

Which leaves Steve to his own growing uncertainty about where he fits in all this. His horns are average as far as the team goes, and his tail, which might still be growing, is a little less than average. He doesn't have the cat-eyes yet, but the itch he's been getting behind his eyes has him thinking that won't be true for much longer. There's clearly some sort of correlation between the different traits and the way each of them relates to Tony, if only because Steve knows for sure that there's one trait that Tony has seen that he himself never has.

Because when Pepper finally makes it down to the Tower one day on business, there's no sign of wings anywhere around her. In fact, she doesn't seem to have horns or a tail either.

Steve's gut goes heavy with dread, and if the way Tony looks at him is any indication, he knows exactly what Steve wants to ask him. He shakes his head slightly, a silent plea to save it until they're alone. Steve nods in acknowledgement, and Tony's face relaxes. He turns to Pepper, making light conversation that she returns in kind, but Steve can only see an aching absence where he'd expected horns and wings. It's almost like there's a rip in the air around her, pointing out the absence of things that Steve has now taken to be so normal, so mundane and easy and present that their absence can only serve to worsen the heavy weight in his chest.

When Pepper has finally gone on her way, Tony turns to look at Steve as though expecting to find anger. Steve offers him none, instead watching him with as open an expression as he can manage.

Tony crosses the room to stand in front of him. After a moment of blank staring, Tony faceplants into Steve's shoulder. "It was Extremis." Steve reaches up automatically, remembering how painful all that had been for Tony. He thinks he might understand why a little better now. "It burned all that out of her. It burned through her wings and then she fell and I… I thought I wasn't going to be able to save her. I thought I wasn't going to be able to save her, Cap." Steve tightens his grip around Tony's shoulders. "But she's fine, and I know it's silly to want her to have to go back to dealing with all that, but sometimes it just… it feels like I've lost her.

Steve closes his eyes, leaning in close against Tony. "It's not silly."

Tony's body relaxes against his, loose and limp and exhausted. "Movie?" he asks, his only concession to the worry Steve is feeling.

Steve smiles, burying the expression in Tony's hair. "Movie."

The rest of the team joins them, and if Steve keeps Tony a little closer than normal, no one calls him out on it. It's a tangle of limbs on the couch, him and Tony and Clint, but Steve doesn't shy away when Clint's tail winds its way across Tony's shoulders atop Steve's arm. He sees Nat's tail wrapping around one of Tony's ankles and can't stop the smile on his face. It's a silent acknowledgment of what Tony is to all of them, and it's more than he'd thought he'd see anytime soon.

* * *

None of this should have changed anything. Steve's a professional — he's always been a professional — and he knows how to keep his head and his heart working in separate realms.

Okay, even he knows that's a load of horseshit, but he understands now why it's so important. He knows he needs to keep Tony safe from him, from what he wants that Tony certainly does not, and the best way to do that is to keep his feelings to himself. And he does the best he can to keep everything quiet, but he isn't strong enough to stay out of Tony's lab now that he's been welcomed back in. It's Tony's space — it's always been Tony's space — but there's also something borderline magical about being invited into that space to stand beside him. There's a whole world of reality in the upper floors of the Tower, but this magical in-between that reminds Steve so viscerally of who and what Tony is isn't something he can give up so easily. This is the world that Steve inhabits now, one of technology and engineering and Tony's dedication. He's not about to walk out of there without being told that he has no other option.

So he stays with Tony, learning exactly why it is that the arch of Tony's fingers is so mesmerizing. Why the curve of his back is so enticing. Why the tilt of his lips in a smile means so much more to him now than Steve ever could have realized before. Tony used to embody everything Steve hated about the future. Now he's everything that Steve loves about the future all rolled into one. Tony is the reason this world isn't as terrifying and overwhelming as it was in the beginning, and now… now all Steve wants is to lean into that closeness, that want, and take everything that Tony might give him.

But that's not his place. Even with Tony and Pepper separated, even with the fact that Tony has made no secret of his sexuality even when it was a taboo subject, even with the two of them living together and Steve himself spending so much time in Tony's sacred space, there's no reason for Steve to believe they could be anything other than friends. Tony never hides his interest in anyone — _anyone_ — and Steve likes to think he would be no exception. If Tony doesn't want him like that, Steve's just going to have to suck it up and get over it. Some part of Tony is better than no part of Tony, and Steve isn't about to complain about being one of the few people granted unrestricted access to Tony's sanctuary. Tony is everything and Tony guards his places and spaces and people with more ferocity than Steve could ever have imagined in anyone aside from himself. Tony is the other side of Steve's personality, strong and malleable and certain where Steve is weak and rigid and wary. There's nothing in their friendship that makes any kind of sense, no reason for the two of them to be as close as they are, but Steve knows how rare a blessing Tony's friendship is and he won't let it go for as long as Tony will have him.

So Steve keeps spending as much time as he can muster down in the workshop, sketching and helping and existing in Tony's space in whatever ways Tony will let him. They are so much more to one another than Steve ever could have imagined months ago, and for all that it isn't precisely what Steve wants, it's certainly more than he ever expected. So he leans into the width and depth and breadth of Tony, feeling his existence in ways that Steve never would have thought himself worthy of. He fights at Tony's side and naps in his workshop and ushers him to bed when the man can barely keep his eyes open.

For his part, JARVIS helps out in whatever way he can. Steve knows it's not quite the same, but every once in a while he lets himself indulge in the thought that human Jarvis, the first one that had loved Tony the way he deserved to be loved, would have approved of Steve in the same way. It's wishful thinking, of course, and far too sentimental a thought for Steve to ever share with Tony, but it sits there in his chest, warm and waiting in a way that keeps him comfortable and content when the world feels like it's going to fall down around his ears. Steve lets that tiny bubble of hope rest behind his breastbone and, as he falls deeper and deeper into romantic love with Tony, he cradles that bubble ever more carefully. He knows he's lucky to have even this much of Tony, even this much of the man that means the world to him, but he can't help wishing for something different. Something that could cool the sting of rejection every time Tony laughs at Rhodes trying to set him up on a date. Something that could loosen the knot of tension that rises any time he sees Tony hurt in battle. Something that could unclench his fists any time Tony smiles just a bit too widely at a doting investor at a charity banquet. Something, anything that might make Steve's want a little less.

But it's wishful thinking, and so much different, so much less than Tony deserves. Tony deserves people that love him wholly and completely, regardless of what they might — or might not — get from him in return. So Steve indulges in those thoughts, yes, because to ignore them would be to make them beasts in their own right in his chest. But he doesn't let them overwhelm him. He thinks them in the privacy of his own mind, ready and willing and able to do whatever it takes to keep Tony alive and healthy and happy. Whatever he can give Tony, he will give gladly and willingly. Without a second thought. He loves Tony, that much is certain, and he will refuse to give the man anything less than what he deserves. Anything less than what Steve could possibly give him. Tony deserves the world, and while Steve can't give him that, he can certainly give Tony all of himself.

It seems the least that Steve can do.

* * *

Steve isn't surprised when his shoulders start aching. He'd known this was coming for days. Maybe even weeks. Because he likes to think he's figured most of it out. The differences between all the little pieces. The horns that mark them as people that want to look out for him, to protect him. The tails for the ones that consider him family. The eyes for the ones that see through to the core of him, to the man that he really is in his heart and love him not in spite of that but because of it. He's not sure what the teeth are for — his haven't come in yet — but he knows he'll figure that out soon enough. And the wings.

The wings are for the ones that want to take him to bed.

Steve had stopped sleeping on his back after the ice, the weight of a blanket across his chest sometimes too similar to the weight of his shield. Now, though, even sleeping on his side puts painful pressure on Steve's shoulder blades. He spends his nights facedown in bed, trying to sleep through the ache and pain. After nearly three weeks of this, he gives in and calls Pepper.

"Pepper? Have you got a minute?"

"For you, Captain? Two."

Steve laughs, but the move jostles through his torso in a way that has his burgeoning wings groaning in resistance. He bites his lip on a matching groan of his own, but Pepper seems to hear it regardless.

"Captain? Are you alright?"

"I'm—"

"Don't lie to me. I've spent years working for Tony, I can hear a bald faced lie coming a mile off."

Steve sobers a bit at that. "My wings are coming in," he says, as though it explains anything. If Pepper's soft _oh_ is any indication, it does. "How… how long did yours take to come in?"

"About a day. Maybe two. I don't remember too well; Tony had me holed up in the house when they came in because it apparently wasn't a pretty picture."

Steve blinks. "Two days?"

"Yes. Most everyone's traits come in within a day or two. Didn't Bruce tell you that?"

Steve swallows. "He… may have mentioned it. To be honest I don't much remember myself. I was too busy worrying about why Tony wanted nothing to do with me while my horns were growing in."

Pepper stays quiet on the other end of the line for a long moment. Too long. "Steve, how long did it take your horns to grow in?"

Steve swallows. "More than a few days."

"And how long have your wings been growing in?"

"About three weeks."

Pepper swears. "I'm calling Bruce right now. No, Steve, you can't talk me out of this, something's wrong if it's taking you that long for your traits to grow in."

The line goes dead for a moment. When it comes back on for a three way call, Bruce is all business. "Steve, do you want to tell me why Pepper is the one letting me know you have another trait coming in?"

Steve winces. "Because I didn't think it was weird that it was taking so long?"

"Don't bullshit him, Steve," Pepper snaps. "He needs to know."

"It's not a big deal you two, seriously."

"I need you to meet me in Medical in ten minutes, Steve. I need to know how bad this is."

"It's nothing, I'm fine, seriously you two, don't stress about it."

"Medical, Steve. Ten minutes." Bruce hangs up and Steve has to bite his tongue to keep from snapping at Pepper for bringing Bruce into this.

He takes a long, slow, deep breath in, letting it out just as slowly. "What the hell was that, Pepper?"

"I remember how painful those wings were, Steve. I remember the horns and the teeth and all the rest of it. The wings were the worst of all of it. If you've been dealing with that for three weeks—"

"I've had worse, Pepper."

"That doesn't mean Tony would want you to endure it on his behalf."

That shuts Steve right up. He closes his eyes, inhaling slow and deep as he tries to figure out how, exactly, this is going to work. "Alright. I'll head on down to Medical, then. Just. Promise me one thing, Pepper?"

"What is it?"

"Let me tell Tony in my own time. This is between me and him."

Pepper makes a strangled sort of noise, but doesn't argue. "If that's what you want, Steve."

"It is."

"Alright. If Bruce tells me you made it down to Medical, I'll keep this our little secret. But, Steve. Don't keep it from him too long. He's not good with other people's secrets, especially when they're about him."

"I won't," Steve lies. Pepper hums disbelievingly but doesn't call him out on it. "Thank you."

"Mm hmm. Text from Bruce, or deal's off."

"Of course."

"Alright, then. I'll talk to you soon, Steve."

Steve thanks Pepper once more for good measure before hanging up. He makes his way to the elevator and down to Medical where he finds Bruce waiting with a frustrated expression on his face.

"Three weeks, Cap?"

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

Bruce rolls his eyes before he pokes and prods Steve all the way into an exam room. Steve gos as willingly as he can manage, one foot in front of the other as Bruce mutters.

"You and Tony are going to be the death of me. Hiding injuries and running in full tilt without backup—"

"Bruce," Steve says with a laugh, "it's not as bad as all that. It's just—"

"That Pepper thinks you're growing wings, Steve. Wings. That's not something to hide from the team and that's certainly not something to hide from the only medical professional that can possibly diagnose what's going on."

Bruce all but shoves him into a separate room to get his x-rays taken. Steve can hear his foot tapping restlessly against the floor as the machine whirrs to life and can't stop the smile that creases his face.

"Quit smiling in there, Rogers. I hate it when you guys smile when I'm pretty sure you've gone and done something obscenely stupid again."

Steve pulls his lips between his teeth, trying to school his expression. He can practically hear Bruce rolling his eyes from the other side of the wall, but he pays it no mind. He stands as still as he can as Bruce takes his x-rays, trying to be patient. "You know this is unnecessary."

"I know you think this is unnecessary. I also know that you like to jump out of planes and fifteenth story windows, so I think we can safely say that your opinion on what is and is not necessary is absolutely moot."

"It was one time—"

Bruce cuts him off with a sharp swear that seems directed at the x-rays he's looking at rather than Steve. "This is bad."

"What's bad?"

Bruce shuts down the x-ray and steps into the room, grabbing Steve by the elbow. "I'm going to need to do some blood draws to be sure, but—" Both of their phones chirp at the same time, a sound that's all too familiar and entirely unwelcome right now. Bruce looks up at him, eyes wide and pleading. "Don't, Cap."

Steve sets his jaw and shakes his head. "Not your call, Banner."

Bruce goes a little green around the gills but keeps control nonetheless. "I am your advising physician. If you go out there against my recommendation—"

"Then SHIELD will patch me back together and my back pay will foot the bill. I'm doing this, Bruce."

Bruce closes his eyes, inhaling slowly before exhaling just as slowly. He looks up at Steve, green swimming in the whites of his eyes. "Don't get yourself killed."

Steve nods once, firmly, certainly, and turns to lead the way to the landing pad.

Tony frowns at the pair of them when they come marching up to the landing pad together. There's something in his eyes that Steve doesn't have time to identify as he starts stripping and getting into his uniform. "What've we got, Romanoff?"

Nat starts rattling off information about flying robots and an angry scientist, par for the course these days, but still information that Steve needs to know. Steve tries to listen with more than half an ear, he really does, but Tony's over by Bruce trying to get him to talk and Steve's too busy hoping Bruce can keep his mouth shut to listen too closely to Nat.

He does hear it when she stops talking, though. He turns to look at her where she's sitting next to Clint in the copilot's seat, with a shrewd look on her face. "What?"

She shakes her head. "Get your head in the game, Rogers."

Steve grits his teeth, knowing what she's saying without saying it. He nods. "Roger that."

"You need me to take point on this?"

Steve tilts his head to the side, contemplating. He shakes his head. "I'm okay."

"If you say so." Nat sounds skeptical, but Steve doesn't have it in him to argue with her right now. The pain is getting worse, and he's starting to wonder if Bruce was right. Coming out here might have been a mistake. But there's no time for second-guessing. They need to get on the ground and get Thor and Tony up in the air if they're going to take this particular threat down.

Steve makes his way to the head of the team as they disembark. He tries not to go weak at the knees when Tony comes to stand at his shoulder and says, calm and certain as ever, "Call it, Cap."

So Steve does. He drops into what everyone else calls his leader mode and starts calling orders. Tony gets Clint to a high enough perch that he can be useful in taking down the airborne robots before taking to the sky himself. Thor joins the pair of them while Bruce and Nat clear the streets. For his part, Steve lets loose with every trick in his arsenal that can take down airborne opponents and tries not to feel useless. The NYPD is already setting up a perimeter for them, and it's taking way too much of Steve's concentration to keep ignoring the pain in his shoulders. Steve's no stranger to pain, but pain this acute, this long-lived, is an old friend, one he hasn't greeted in far too long. He hadn't admitted to Bruce how much the ache was wearing on him, how badly he'd wanted it all to stop, and how much he'd hoped the doc would have something to say that might ease the pain.

But he hadn't, and Steve had refused to stay behind, and now he's here, picking off the remains of robots that Tony and Thor and Clint have knocked out of the sky. The things are startlingly durable, and apparently pretty pissed off to boot if the way they're moving is any indication. So Steve fights with every fiber of strength in his body he can wrangle, beating every last battered and broken robot until it can't move any longer.

Nat and Bruce are on coms letting the team know that they've got everyone clear of the immediate vicinity. Tony and Thor take that as permission to, as Tony so eloquently puts it, "light the bastards up," which mostly just means more debris raining down around Steve and more half-destroyed monsters for Steve to beat into submission.

"Come on, Iron Man," Steve snaps as he shoves his shield through yet another battered robot's neck. "Why not just take them out altogether? No reason to drop them on my head like this."

"Aw, but Brucie Bear said you were so eager to get out here to fight! I didn't want to leave you out of the fun."

Steve rolls his eyes at Tony's laughter, only for his heart to stop in his chest when the laughter turns to a quick, cut off gasp. Steve looks up toward Tony, heart in his throat as he realizes what's happening. There's a robot on one of Tony's feet, clutching to it like a lifeline and, as far as Steve can tell, cutting off the repulsor's ability to slice through it. Tony's dropping altitude even as he tries to regain his balance, and Thor's distracted by the mad scientist himself who seems to have taken a sudden interest in Mjolnir. Three more robots latch onto Tony, and before Steve can get his wits about him enough to shout at Thor or Clint or anyone, Tony gives another brief, abbreviated gasp that turns quickly into a shout as he reaches for the robot on his chest. Whatever it is that Tony had been trying to do, he fails. That much is clear in the way every single robot disengages from Tony and heads over to where Thor is doing battle with their master.

For one heartstopping second Steve thinks he might be wrong. That Tony outsmarted the damn things and sicced them on their creator. But then the repulsors give out and Tony's pinwheeling through the air, dropping like a stone toward the ground. 

In that instant, as he watches Tony fall with the knowledge that Bruce is too far away to do a damn thing and Thor is too distracted to help, Steve realizes one thing with crystal clarity. He's not going to survive losing Tony. After everything else, he'd just started to find the ability to hope again. To feel comfortable in Tony's space. With Tony in general. And if Steve loses him now, there's going to be no recovering from that.

Before Tony's name can rip its way out of his lungs, though, Steve feels the pain from between his shoulder blades surge up over his entire body. He has a split second to be terrified before his whole world settles into something like calm.

Oh. So that's what this is.

For the first time since waking up in the future, Steve isn't afraid of the darkness, because this time, the darkness isn't going to take his life. It's going to save Tony's.

Whatever it takes.


	4. In Which Tony Comes To Grips With Reality

Tony knows he's about to die. It's not the first time he's been this certain of his own demise, but it's the first time in awhile. He thinks he'd be more concerned about the whole thing if he had his wits about him enough to react to the way he's pinwheeling through the air. He thinks, for one wild moment, of Loki chucking him out of the forty-seventh floor window to what should have been his death and tries to remember how he'd known that he would survive. How he'd held onto that certainty long enough to not completely lose his head before JARVIS could get the suit to him.

Not that it matters right now. The suit's been disconnected from the arc reactor — damn clever robot bastards — and, thus, its power source. There's no way Tony can recalibrate the connection before he's roadkill on the ground. So instead he closes his eyes, relaxes his body, and hopes that it won't hurt too much.

Unfortunately, it ends up hurting a lot. Quite a lot, in fact. Even more strangely, the hurt doesn't seem to be stopping. And he seems to still be moving, which would seem to imply that he's not dead yet. The movement is slower now, and Tony still isn't one hundred percent sure which way is up, but he thinks he's not falling straight down anymore. He blinks at the way the city is whirling around in front of his narrow eye slits and is altogether stunned when it settles into a steady, easy glide.

Something sharp is poking at either side of his neck. Several somethings, as a matter of fact. Some part of Tony's brain is more worried about that than he thinks he needs to be. He thinks he should be more worried about what, exactly, had pulled him out of that death spiral, because he can't hear a damn thing on coms over the rush of air in his ears, which is more disorganizing than any other part of this. His lungs are still somewhere in the vicinity of his knees, however, and he's pretty sure he doesn't have the breath to start yelling at everyone over coms right now either, so he just stares out of his faceplate and tries not to freak the fuck out.

The ground comes up altogether too quickly, but whatever it is that has Tony in its grip comes in for an easy landing, depositing him onto the ground without any sort of struggle. Tony tries to push himself to his feet to face whatever it is that has grabbed him, but something heavy comes down in the middle of his back, pinning him to the ground. Tony swears repeatedly and as loud as he can handle alone in the suit without JARVIS to muffle the sounds. He can hear the team still shouting commands at one another over the coms, but not a single one of them seems concerned about him, which is either very good or very bad.

His swearing is soon joined by sounds of crunching metal above him. For a split second Tony thinks whatever had saved him has now decided to crush him in the suit, which is more than a little unnerving. He scrabbles at the ground, trying to push up against whatever is holding him down, but it's no good; he's just as pinned now as he was before the crunching and crushing had started.

Tony tilts his head up to try to get a better view of something that isn't the ground. What he sees is the crumpled remains of at least half a dozen robots thrown across the street in front of him, and more raining down with each passing moment. Tony swallows, not sure if he's relieved or worried that whatever had grabbed him out of the air is just as interested in destroying the robots as his team is. It might be enough to bargain with.

"Listen," Tony starts, and the pressure on his back lets up just slightly before returning anew. Tony struggles against the strain of his suit but doesn't stop trying to talk his way out of this. "Listen, you clearly want these fuckers gone as badly as I do. So if you'll just let me up so I can fix my armor—"

There's an almighty roar from somewhere directly above him, and Tony can't help the way his arms automatically come up to cover his head. Three more bots come crashing to the ground in quick succession, all in worse shape than even Thor had been able to wreak on most of them. Whatever this thing is that nabbed him, it's tough. Really tough.

Tony just hopes it's on their side.

Between Thor and Clint taking down more robots and Nat making her way back into the fray, coupled with whatever this thing is that has Tony pinned, it takes far less time than Tony would have expected to subdue the scientist and his creations. Soon enough, the team's gathered around in front of him and his captor. There's something off in the way they're arranged, and even weirder is the fact that none of them look like they're even considering attacking whatever it is that's got him pinned.

Clint doesn't look at Tony when he speaks. "You okay in there, Stark?"

"Oh, yeah, just peachy. Something comes and drags me out of the air, pins me to the ground, and y'all just keep on doing what you're doing? You really know how to make a guy feel special." There's a tense silence all around him, and Tony feels his heart crawl up into his throat. "What?" he asks. "What is it?"

Then he realizes exactly what's wrong with his team. Tony's throat squeezes around his heart, and for a second the world goes completely still.

"Where's Cap?"

No one answers him. "Let him up," Thor says, voice sharp and demanding.

There's a roar from above Tony, deep and guttural and heart-stopping. No one backs away, but Tony doesn't much care. He's already pushing back against the thing that has him pinned, trying to figure out why the team isn't more worried about where Cap is.

"Chill out, Thor." Clint's voice is low and tense. "That's not how you calm them down."

"Then what do you propose—"

Tony watches as Clint kneels down, one palm on the ground and his other hand outstretched. Nat makes her way out of sight, and Tony thinks he should be more worried about all this, but he's too busy trying not to freak out about everything else. "Bruce," he hisses, "where the hell is—"

Bruce drops down low enough that Tony can see his face more easily. He gives Tony a sharp head shake, his features more serious than Tony's seen in awhile. Tony blinks. Something is very, very wrong.

Clint has stilled, and waits until Bruce straightens up again to start speaking. "It's okay, buddy. It's just us. Just us. Nothing to worry about anymore. They're gone, okay?" The thing pinning Tony to the ground huffs and growls, but the sound is quieter than before. "Yeah, I know, but you did good." Clint moves forward on his knees, seemingly trying to make himself smaller as he approaches them. "You got Tony out of there safe when nobody else could, and that's what matters, right?" More huffs and shuffling. "You did good. Now you gotta let him up."

"Clint, what—"

Clint shushes Tony sharply before turning back to the thing that's pinning Tony. "You just gotta let me grab Tony, and then we can—"

Something — a paw? — comes up and hits Clint dead center in his chest. Tony barely has time to shout out his concern before that same pricking sensation is back in his neck, accompanied, this time, with the sound of tearing metal and the feel of blood. Tony manages to stay very still, hoping that playing dead might make a difference, but the pressure on his neck just redoubles at that, as though this thing wants to make something clear to him. Something Tony doesn't understand. Tony closes his eyes, bracing himself for the worst, only to be met with a familiar swooping sensation in his gut. He looks up, unsurprised to see the sides of skyscrapers racing before his eyes as the creature takes to the skies. He's pretty sure the thing is holding him by the back of his neck like some sort of lost kitten, and the indignity of that would be all the worse if he weren't too busy hoping the thing isn't about to take him out to Jersey. Tony swallows down the fear of knowing that he's completely at this thing's mercy and tries his coms.

"Guys, is Thor—"

"Right behind you, Tony," Bruce says. His voice is tight. "We don't want him to get too close in case—"

"In case it drops me, I know."

Bruce stays quiet. "I don't know how kindly he'll take to being followed, Tony. If there's any reason to believe he's going to drop you—"

"Okay, okay, just. Just don't let it take me out of town if you can help it, alright?"

"I don't think you have to worry too much about that, Tony." Natasha's voice is deceptively airy, and Tony wants to start yelling at her. He doesn't think that would make much of a difference, though. So instead he tries to let himself relax into being carried, a dead weight in this thing's grasp, for as long as he needs to be. There's a slight tightening of the grip on his neck at that, and Tony tries not to wince. The wind is rushing in his ears, fear making his chest its home, and Tony would turn away from all of this if the thing hadn't shaken him ever so slightly to get his attention.

They're coming up on the Tower, and the thing is heading toward the armor's disassembling station as though it knows exactly where Tony needs to be. It sets Tony down on the landing pad, waiting until Tony has his feet beneath him before he lets go. Tony almost doesn't take the staggering steps necessary to disassemble to suit, too busy trying to figure out if he can reactivate the armor and take this thing down. But the creature noses at the middle of his back, sending Tony stumbling forward. Before Tony can stop it, JARVIS' sequence has started, and his second skin is being peeled away.

As Tony loses his last line of defense, the thing that had caught him prowls around to the other end of the landing pad, sitting back on its haunches as though waiting for Tony. The creature in front of him could almost be a normal lion, except for the pale color of his fur and mane, the horns on its head and wings on its back, and the striking familiarity of the blue of its eyes. It's those eyes that give Tony pause as JARVIS continues unwrapping the Iron Man armor. They could almost be— but, no, that's ridiculous.

Then Tony looks down at the tail extending from the creature's backside and it becomes much harder to deny the conclusion that's rapping at the base of his skull. It's pounding in time with the beat of his heart in the tiny puncture wounds from the creature's teeth. Because he knows that tail just as well as he knows those eyes. But it can't be. It can't—

Tony stumbles as JARVIS finishes the armor removal sequence. The creature — a sphinx, his mind supplies — darts forward, pushing its — his? — muzzle against Tony's chest, easing him upright. Tony reaches down, cupping the sphinx by its jaw. "Steve?"

The sphinx leans a bit heavier against Tony's hands, nuzzling up against him. Tony's breath stops in his chest. Oh god. What has he done?

Before he can get too deep into his own head, the elevator door dings, announcing the arrival of the rest of the team. Tony runs his fingers through Steve's mane to rest his palm along the back of Steve's neck, settling there, but not putting any pressure. The team spills out of the elevator through the common areas and onto the landing pad, all of them looking at the duo in varying degrees of interest and concern. Tony isn't quite sure how to take any of this, and he certainly doesn't want to do this alone. He plants his palm more firmly against Steve's neck, urging him forward. Steve goes, albeit reluctantly. Tony makes low, soothing noises as he walks, the kind he makes when DUM-E is being particularly skittish about an upgrade. Steve leans heavily against his side, his wings still spread wide from his back.

"So," Tony says when he finally makes it to stand in front of the team. "You guys wanna take a guess as to what all this is about?"

The team exchanges glances, Nat and Clint's slitted eyes — cat eyes, Tony can now see, not snake eyes as he'd once assumed — blinking at one another pointedly. In the end, it's Bruce that seems to lose the silent drawing of lots. "His wings were coming in, Tony. That's where he and I were before the mission. Checking up on his x-rays. I didn't have time to analyze them too deeply, but it seemed clear from what I had that… this has been a long time coming."

Tony chokes on air. He tries not to look over at the sphinx— at _Steve_ — and does his damnedest to focus on Bruce instead. "You're telling me he knew this was going to happen?"

"He didn't. I had my suspicions, but no time to confirm them before the call to assemble went out."

"And you didn't tell him to stay behind?"

Bruce's answering smile is somewhere between pitying and amused. "I tried, Tony. He's team leader, and goodness knows neither of you can be stopped when you set your mind to something."

Tony narrows his eyes at Bruce, but Bruce stands his ground. Tony breaks eye contact first when Steve noses at the back of Tony's thighs. Tony swallows and turns to Steve, carding his fingers through Steve's mane. "What is it, Steve? What do you need?"

Steve bumps his muzzle idly against Tony's belly, and Tony finds that it isn't much of a leap to figure out what he needs.

Tony turns to Bruce. "Any idea how many calories he'd burn in a transformation like this?"

Bruce's eyes go wide in answer. "We'll go get him something to eat." He grabs Thor by the elbow, steering him away from the pair of them. Natasha steps away too, stopping only when it becomes apparent that Clint isn't following her.

"Just… be careful, alright, Stark?"

"What, you don't trust me?"

Clint rolls his eyes. "Not as far as I can throw you in the suit, but that's not the point. He's… He's probably even stronger than usual like this. I don't want either of you getting hurt."

Tony opens his mouth to give some snarky reply, but Steve bumps up against his side again, quieting the desire. Tony looks over at where his fingers are still tangled in Steve's mane. "We'll be fine," he says as softly as he can manage. Steve gives a low, rumbling, contented growl and leans in to nuzzle against Tony's side. "We'll be fine."

Clint makes a sound of vague agreement before turning and stepping back into the Tower after Natasha. Tony turns back to Steve as soon as he's inside.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to try to turn back into a human, could I?" Steve gives a low growl, bumping his head against Tony's elbow again. Tony sighs. "Yeah. Didn't think so."

Tony keeps one hand at the back of Steve's neck, steering him carefully into the Tower's common spaces. He settles down on the couch, head tipped back against it as he tries to quiet the storm of confusion and fear and frustration in his chest. Steve settles down atop Tony's feet, making Tony laugh, a harsh, sharp little sound.

"What, are you a housecat now?"

Steve looks up at him and makes a sound that's part growl, part purr before crossing his paws atop Tony's feet, leaning his head on Tony's lap, and folding his wings back. Tony stares down at him with something akin to wonder. That this creature, this _man_ that's so much stronger than Tony could ever be had succumbed to the magic that should only ever have been Tony's curse to carry.

Because it's even clearer now that this is some kind of magic. Tony isn't sure where or how his father got his hands on something that would lead to literal magic being used on his wife, but there's really no other explanation. Tony scratches at Steve's neck, pressing against the firm muscle that rests underneath his skin. Tony lets his head lean back against the back of the couch. "What am I gonna do with you, buddy?"

Steve huffs, leaning into Tony's hand. Tony can't stop the smile on his lips as he looks down at Steve. Steve looks back up in kind before narrowing his eyes, taking a close look at Tony. He sits up, planting his paws on Tony's thighs and leans in close. Before Tony can even consider being worried about this, Steve's tongue comes out and starts soothing the punctures on Tony's neck, licking away the blood that Tony can still feel oozing sluggishly from them. Tony strokes at Steve's mane, not sure if he should indulge this or discourage it.

Before he can make a decision, Steve pulls back, eyeing the wounds before nodding contentedly and pulling away. He adjustes, presumably so he can settle his head more comfortably on Tony's lap, and seems to consider the matter closed. Tony doesn't have it in him to argue. He closes his eyes, resting so easily against the couch that, for a moment, he can pretend that everything's okay.

Tony loses time, sitting there on the couch with Steve's head in his lap until the elevator dings and his team comes stumbling out. Tony tries to maintain his calm, but he must tense up if the way Steve lifts his head and growls is any indication. Tony scratches at Steve's neck again, trying to relax his own body in turn. "It's okay, buddy. It's just the team."

Clint moves toward them first, getting low enough that Tony can tell he's about to try the same technique again. Before Tony can stop him, Steve is upright and growling, low and steady at Clint. The man freezes, glancing up at Tony for guidance.

Tony shrugs. "Don't look at me. I don't know what's going on any better than the rest of you."

Clint sighs, backing off and standing up again. "Alright, well. See if you can get him into the kitchen, yeah? We don't know how much energy that transformation took out of him, and I don't want to hear him bitching and growling tonight when he's hungry."

Steve growls again, low and threatening. Tony puts a hand on his back again, and Steve looks up at him, eyes wide and considering. "It's Clint, Steve. It's just Clint. You don't have to protect me from him." Steve bumps his head against Tony's hip. Tony strokes his hand gently along Steve's back, and Steve leans in closer against him. "There you go. Just like that." Steve gives a low rumble, and Tony chuckles. "Come on, buddy. You hungry?" Steve huffs again and follows Tony when he leads the way toward the kitchen.

The team has set out everything from raw meat to a veritable mountain of dry cat food. Tony rolls his eyes at the lot of them, leaving Steve to stare at his options while Tony himself goes to the fridge for a smoothie. He pounds half of it in one go, glances over at Steve, and then turns to the team as a whole.

Natasha cuts him off before he can open his mouth. "How's the suit, Stark?"

Tony winces. "Caught that, did you?"

She shrugs. "No other reason for you to drop like that. There had to be something wrong."

Tony hums and takes a sip of his smoothie, eyes still lingering on Steve. "Nothing a few rounds with JARVIS can't fix."

"And in the future?"

"Need to put a stronger protective casing around the arc reactor, apparently."

Natasha hums, going back to her own meal. Tony can see her tail flicking behind her, one of the few anxious tics she hasn't totally been able to train away yet.

Tony leans across the counter, meeting her eyes sharply. "I'm okay, Nat. I promise."

Natasha purses her lips, knowing what he isn't saying in that way she always does. "Whatever, Stark."

Tony gives her a flash of a grin before straightening up and glancing at the team as a whole. "Enough about me. Anybody going to talk about the elephant in the room? Or, in this case, the literal sphinx in the room?"

"Is that what he is?" Clint asks, glancing over at Steve. "Huh."

"Not the point, Barton," Tony snaps. "What the hell are we going to do with our leader compromised like this?"

"The same thing we always do, Tony." Bruce's voice is low and careful, like he's afraid Tony might bolt. "Work on finding a cure and wait it out until we do."

Tony frowns. "That's not gonna work this time."

"What do you mean?"

Tony turns to Clint. "I mean that the only person that's ever been able to undo one of these transformations was Pepper, and she had to have it literally burned out of her for it to go away. So what, exactly, are we going to do about Steve?"

The rest of the team glances at one another as though once again drawing lots for who is going to answer the question. Tony thinks he'd be a lot more put out by it if he had any ideas about how to get Steve back to normal. Before anyone can speak, though, Steve comes up to Tony and bumps his head against Tony's hand, a silent plea for attention that Tony can already recognize. He pets Steve in long, strong strokes, but Steve just presses in even closer, nuzzling at Tony as though to coax him away from the kitchen. Tony doesn't move. He goes on petting Steve as though he thinks that might calm him, but even Tony knows that trying to distract Steve from something generally backfires. Badly.

So when Steve bumps his head against Tony's hip, Tony sighs and looks down at him. "What is it?"

Steve tilts his head to the side, watching Tony with those too-familiar eyes. Steve goes on staring at him for long enough that Tony thinks something might be wrong. Then Steve gets his teeth in Tony's shirt, tugging at it gently. Tony looks up at the team, all of whom are looking back at him with a combination of hope, resignation, and amusement. Tony looks back down at Steve and takes a small step in the direction he's leading. Steve tugs harder on his shirt, and Tony follows easily, lest Steve change his mind. Steve leads him all the way back over to the couch and nudges Tony until he's settled down on the couch. Then Steve sets himself up in the same position as before, paws crossed over Tony's feet and head in Tony's lap.

Tony goes back to running his fingers through Steve's mane, trying to figure out what exactly Steve is trying to say to him. The team follows them, settling down more or less in their usual places around the living room. Tony thinks he should be chastising all of thm for eating in here, but that's usually Steve's job, and, yep, there it is. Steve starts growling low at everyone in the room, clearly for the food in their hands.

"You're the one that scarfed down his food like a wild animal and dragged us all back in here," Clint says, chucking a piece of broccoli at Steve's face. Steve snaps it out of the air, chewing it and swallowing in one go. Tony may not know anything about animals' facial expressions, but he's pretty damn sure Steve's smirking at Clint. Clint just rolls his eyes at Steve. "Don't make that face at me, asshole."

Steve makes a sound that could almost be confused for an attempt to speak, but then he's settling his head down across Tony's thighs again, a heavy weight that serves to both remind Tony of their predicament and assure him that, whatever form Steve is in, at least he's alive.

Tony goes back to petting Steve, his eyes focusing on the team at large. "None of this solves our current issue. We need to do something."

"Why?"

Tony blinks at Thor. "Um, because our team leader is a fucking sphinx right now?"

Thor shrugs. "'Tis naught but an effect of the spell you are under, Tony Stark. The Captain is only as trapped by the spell as you are."

Everyone in the room goes still. "Come again?" Tony says.

Thor eyes them all, thn winces as though realizing his slip. "I, eh. I didn't mention that?"

"No." Tony can feel how low and dangerous his voice is and the way it makes Steve go rigid in his lap. "No, I don't think you did."

"Ah. Well. Um." Thor clears his throat, eyes darting from one member of the team to the next. "The, eh. The spell in question is intended to serve as a reminder to the child that they are loved." Tony makes a strangled sound that has Steve pulling his head off Tony's lap to turn to Thor and growl. Thor pays him no mind. "Love for the gifted child is to be a blessing beyond all others. For one that loves a blessed child, they are given greater gifts than the child can possibly imagine, manifested such that they can serve the child best. Whatever it is that the child needs is what manifests in the world around them."

"I'm not a fucking kid anymore, Thor. So why is this all still happening?"

Thor winces again. "Anthony—"

"Don't you _Anthony_ me, Thor. Give it to me straight."

Thor searches Tony's eyes. He must find what he's looking for, because he sighs and breaks the gaze. "The manifestation of a sphinx suggests a need— a _desire_ for protection. It suggests that you believe your love is something others must be protected from. That you must be protected from."

"Thor—"

Thor cuts Natasha off. "Until you understand that loving you is the right of the people around you, and being loved by you is a gift to those upon whom that love is bestowed, our forms are fixed. Including Captain Rogers'."

Tony doesn't register that the high, keening noise is coming from him until Thor lurches toward him, seemingly unable to hold himself back from the movement. Before Thor can reach him, though, Tony's vision is blocked by Steve's pure white wings unfurling from his back, blocking Thor from Tony's view. Steve lets loose with an almighty roar that nearly deafens Tony. Tony can feel the way Steve is vibrating with emotion in front of him, though what he's feeling is entirely beyond Tony's comprehension. Tony reaches out to try to get Steve to calm down, but all that serves to do is increase the tension in Steve's spine. He draws his body up taut between Tony and the rest of the team.

"Steve." Tony can hear the way his voice is trembling, and tries to swallow past it. "Steve, it's okay. It's just the team. It's not a big deal, soldier. Stand down."

Some of the tension bleeds out of Steve's shoulders, but he doesn't move from his sentinel position in front of Tony. He's still growling, a low rumble issuing from his chest, but he's not quite as on guard as he had been before. Tony glances around his wings to try to spot Thor. Thor's smiling indulgently down at Steve, as though certain that he couldn't do a damn thing to hurt Thor right now. Which, honestly, was probably true. Tony's been turned into plenty of weird things over the years, and it always takes a while to get his bearings and be able to move his new body the way he needs to. Not that Tony thinks this is going to be anything like that, but it's the thought that counts.

Tony looks back up at Thor. "So, what exactly do I have to do to turn him back?"

"Learn to accept the gift you've been given. Understand that those that bear your mark with you have chosen that path. And honor their choices. Understand that all of us have chosen you willingly, and would choose you again if given the chance."

"He's a fucking _monster_ , Thor. You really think he—"

The growls have cut off suddenly, and Tony feels their absence in a way he hadn't expected. He looks down at Steve who's staring up at him with wide, aching eyes that speak to a kind of loss that Tony knows all too well.

"Steve—"

Before Tony can get more than that single syllable out, Steve's tucking his wings close against his body and pulling away from the team. Tony's throat goes tight as he watches Steve retreat, but he doesn't have the words to undo what he knows he's just done. He takes one stumbling step toward Steve, but that seems to be enough to get Steve moving. He takes off down the hallway toward the emergency stairwell, and Tony knows there's no way he's going to catch up to him now that he's slipped away.

The team is silent around him, and Tony can feel the way they're all staring at him. He swallows, trying to find the words to explain himself, but everything he thinks of sounds like an excuse. His hands clench into fists at his sides, and his shoulders come up to his ears as he waits for the fallout.

"Well?" Clint finally says. Tony flinches. "You gonna go after him or what?"

"What's the point? I already fucked this up. What can I even say at this point to make this any better?"

He hears one of them come and cross the room to stand at his side. He flinches again when Bruce reaches out to take Tony's hand. "You know, I like to think I know a thing or two about monsters given that I've got one living inside of me." Tony snorts at the dry tone in Bruce's voice. "But this? My eyes? My horns? They don't make me a monster. They make me someone that gives a damn about one of the smartest, strongest, bravest men I know. They make me someone that cares about you, Tony. I'll wear this mark proudly if that's what it takes to convince you that you're important to me, but you sure as shit can't take away what you mean to me." Bruce squeezes Tony's hand once. "You're one of my best friends, Tony. Maybe my best friend. And if you told me you thought I was a monster because of what I'm willing to look like to prove how I feel about you, it would hurt like hell.

"But Steve's different. He gave himself over completely to what he feels for you in order to keep you safe. He let those feelings dictate his very existence because in that moment all he could think of was how much you mean to him. So, yeah, I'd be hurt if you called me a monster for loving you. But Steve? He's going to take that a hell of a lot harder."

Tony glances down at where Bruce has Tony's hand caught in his. He glances back at the team, gauging their respective reactions. Then he looks down the hall that Steve has disappeared down. "I should probably go after him, shouldn't I?"

"That's not a bad idea."

Tony nods, slipping his hand from Bruce's grasp before making his way purposefully down the hall. He makes it all the way to the stairs before he realizes that he's not completely sure where the hell Steve has gotten off to. He goes up to Steve's floor first, knocking on the door before poking his head in and looking around. When Steve isn't there, he tries the gym, then the roof, and then, on a whim, his own workshop. Steve isn't anywhere, but as no one on the SI floors has reported any sort of mythical creatures knocking around down there and there's been no call to assemble, Tony can only assume that Steve's still somewhere on the Avengers' floors. That doesn't mean he'll be easy to find. Tony isn't sure he's ready to go knocking on everyone else's doors to see who Steve has taken up refuge with, and he's certainly not sure he's ready to find out exactly how much he hurt Steve, which makes it even harder to justify checking everyone else's floor.

Tony slumps down in a chair in his workshop, spinning idly as he stares up at the ceiling. "JARVIS?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Any chance you aren't as pissed at me as the rest of the team and want to tell me where Steve is?"

"I have no record of Captain Rogers reentering the Tower."

"JARVIS, are you getting snarky on me?"

"But if you are seeking the sphinx that entered the Tower with you, he is up in the penthouse."

Tony scrambles to his feet. "You let Steve into my _penthouse_?"

"He was rather insistent."

Tony swears, darting over to the elevator and slamming his fist into the call button. He doesn't quite have it in himself to be all that angry with JARVIS. He's too busy being grateful that he at least knows where Steve is now. The ride to the penthouse seems to take twice as long as it usually does, and Tony can't shake the anxiety about what he's going to find when he makes it to the penthouse itself. Whatever it is, he knows he owes Steve a hell of an apology.

When Tony makes it to the penthouse, he finds Steve curled up on the floor, the end of his tail wagging morosely behind him. Tony isn't quite sure how Steve can put that much emotion into his tail wagging, but he's impressed by it nonetheless. Steve lifts his head and turns to look at Tony. He tilts his head to the side as though contemplating him, then settles his head back down on his paws.

Tony sighs and crosses the room to crouch down beside Steve. "Bruce seems to think I owe you an apology." Steve huffs but doesn't look at Tony. "I'm starting to think he might be right."

Steve cuts an eye over toward Tony before turning his head away entirely, resting what would be his cheek on his crossed paws. Tony can tell this is meant as a dismissal, but he ignores it. If nothing else, Steve deserves the truth.

"I was scared, Steve. I've always been scared of this. The curse, and what it could do to the people I— To the people I care about. I saw how Jarvis kept to the house as much as he could. The way I was afraid I'd have to redesign every damn plane the Air Force uses so Rhodey could fit in any one of them with his horns. Turned out not to matter that much at the end of the day, but. But it shouldn't even have been something either of us had to worry about. And I watched—" Tony swallows. He refuses to check and see if the rustle of fur on fur he hears is Steve turning to look toward him or turning away. "I watched my mother spend years trying to hide the remnants of her horns, neither of us ever knowing that it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

"I didn't mean you're actually a monster, Steve. But you have to understand… that's the way everyone else has always treated it."

The rustle comes again, and this time Tony feels Steve's muzzle trying to ingratiate itself between his arm and his thigh. He gives way easily as Steve wrestles his way into Tony's space, rolling over onto his back as he leans in closer against Tony. Steve looks up at him, eyes wide and thoughtful as he searches Tony's face.

"What?" Tony asks. "What is it?" Steve wrangles a paw in between them, patting at the center of Tony's chest. Tony looks at the arc reactor, then back at Steve. "What, the arc reactor?"

Steve huffs in a way that Tony can't help but interpret as exasperation. He paws at Tony's chest again, and Tony feels his lungs constrict. "Steve—" He shakes his head. "It's not that simple." Steve paws at his chest again, eyes unwavering on Tony's. "You want me to just pretend the last forty years of my life never happened? Pretend this curse isn't one of the most terrifying things I've had to deal with? It's one thing to deal with terrorists threatening my life that I can bargain with or aliens threatening my city that I can take out with a few repulsor bursts. This… this is a part of me, Steve. It has been for so long. I can't just make it go away."

Steve's paw stays pressed against Tony's chest until Tony looks up, meeting Steve's eyes. Steve pulls his paw away, pawing at his own chest before he reaches back up and paws at Tony's chest one more time. All the while he's making that sound that could almost be words, though they're not in any language that Tony understands. At least, not the words themselves.

The intent, though. The intent he understands.

The breath catches in Tony's chest as he tries to process what Steve's trying to tell him. "Come on, Steve. Don't… don't be ridiculous. I know you don't—"

Steve repeats the motion and the sounds, seeming more insistent this time as he does.

"Steve—"

Steve growls low in his chest before he pulls away from Tony and starts pacing the length of the room. It's more of a prowl than a pace, but Tony refuses to associate that word with Steve right now. Steve paces the room a few times, alternating between growls and those word-like sounds that he keeps making. Tony watches as he paces until he stops all at once a few feet from Tony. He looks over at Tony, something calculating in his eyes, and watches for a moment, as though waiting for some show of weakness.

"Steve?"

That seems to be enough indication to Steve that he can act. He lunges across the room and plants his paws on Tony's shoulders, bowling him over. Tony goes easily, long since accustomed to the idea of rolling with an attack rather than trying to fight back when the opponent is larger than him. Steve lands atop him, knocking the breath from his chest. Before Tony can even open his mouth to ask Steve what's going on, he feels the pinprick sensation of Steve's teeth pressing against either side of his throat.

Tony relaxes, his hands falling open at his sides. It's not that he's never faced death this closely before, it's that he's never faced death at the hands of a teammate this closely before. All at once, Tony thinks of that day on the helicarrier when he'd trusted Steve to save him from the depths of a deadly turbine. When he'd trusted Clint to call the shots on the field and Thor to stop the flow of aliens through a deep space portal and Natasha to take out every enemy on the ground and Bruce to come back to them. The team is more in sync than they were back then, but they were a team from the start. A group of people that trusted each other and were willing to do whatever it took to keep New York safe. It wasn't much, and yet somehow it was everything.

And here, now, with Steve crouched above him, Tony feels absolutely no fear. Because regardless of what Tony may think of himself, regardless of what Tony may have ever thought of himself, he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Steve loves him. Wholly, unrepentantly, and unabashedly. Steve loves him enough to turn into a goddamn sphinx and drag him out of the sky because, in that moment, Steve had only wanted to keep Tony safe.

Because that's all Steve's ever wanted.

Tony reaches up slow and steady, telegraphing his movements as he reaches up to stroke his fingers through Steve's fur. "Okay, buddy. I hear you. I get it. You mean the world to me too, okay?"

Steve huffs again, his breath hot and damp against Tony's throat. He opens his jaw far enough that he can pull back without scraping his teeth along Tony's neck and stares down at him.

Tony goes a little cross-eyed trying to meet Steve's eyes before he gives up and drops his head down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "You're important to me too."

Steve flops down atop Tony, ignoring the grunt that Tony gives in response and planting his head in the middle of Tony's chest. He tilts his head to the side as if to say _And?_

Tony wrinkles his nose. "And I know…. I know that this is your choice. This will always be your choice. I can't stop you from doing this." Steve sighs, turning his face away from Tony. Tony reaches up, running his hands through Steve's fur, grasping around for what he might still need to say to convince Steve and whatever magic that's binding him to let him go. "I can't stop you from staying like this if you want to, but—" He tilts his head up to try to meet Steve's eyes. "I want my team leader back."

Steve's tail snaps through the air, and Tony can tell that wasn't the right thing to say either.

He sighs, dropping his head back down and keeping up his easy petting. "I'm glad you saved me, though. I'd hate to think that you'd be stuck like this because I'd died today. I mean, don't get me wrong, I didn't particularly want to die either. I kind of like not being roadkill. I kind of like getting to be part of the team. And I kind of like…" Tony swallows, trying to find the strength to say what he needs to say. "I kind of like having you guys as friends. It's nice to know that there are people that genuinely seem to want me in their lives for whatever reason."

The weight on Tony's chest has shifted and lessened. He looks up, eyes wide and heart in his throat to see human-Steve with his chin planted on his crossed arms, staring down at Tony.

"Steve?"

"The one and only."

"What did— _How_ did— Did you—"

"It was all you, Tony."

Tony stops short, staring at Steve in disbelief. "Me?"

"You." Steve reaches up tentatively, brushing Tony's bangs aside. "Not easy admitting how much you mean to us, is it?"

Tony ignores the way his heart starts working overtime from the touch of Steve's fingers on his skin. "Is that what did it?"

Steve lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "For the most part."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that getting me to change back is a two-way street, Stark. These things that happen to us, these… these traits. They're ours to control only so long as you completely accept what you mean to us."

It's in that moment that Tony realizes that Steve's horns have disappeared along with his cat's eyes. It tightens something in Tony's chest — is he going to lose Steve too, right after he'd found him? — but Steve just reaches down, cupping Tony's cheek.

"Breathe, Tony." Steve closes his eyes and the horns flow back into existence atop his head before disappearing again. Tony muffles the incredulous sound that tries to burst from his lips. Steve grins down at him. "As long as you hang onto this." he points to the center of Tony's chest, indicating his heart, "any of us can change any of our traits at will."

Tony swallows, staring down at the tip of Steve's finger as an excuse not to meet his eyes. "And the full transformation?"

Steve hums. "That's probably going to mostly be me. I'm rather attached to the wings. Not sure I want anyone else sprouting a pair."

Tony's heart stutters in his chest. He looks up at Steve before he can think better of it. "What?"

Steve's eyes are distant as he looks down at Tony. He brushes that same lock of hair off of Tony's forehead again before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the corner of his eye. "You'll figure it out soon enough."

Tony closes his eyes, leaning into the touch of Steve's lips and following them for a brief moment as he pulls away. Tony opens his eyes in time to see Steve getting to his feet and starting toward the penthouse door.

All at once, Tony knows if he lets Steve walk out that door, there's a chance he'll lose his shot at this forever.

Tony rolls over, scrambling to his feet so he can lunge at Steve before he makes it to the door. "Steve, wait." He grabs Steve's wrist, and for all that Steve could pull away easily enough, he doesn't. He goes still under Tony's touch but doesn't turn to face him. "The wings. You know what they are?"

Steve's wrist twitches in Tony's hold. "Do you?"

"I have my suspicions." Tony wets his lips, tugging gently at Steve's wrist. "Steve. Look at me."

"If you're going to let me down gently, I'd just as soon—"

"I'm not. But I'd like to be looking you in the eyes when I say this."

Steve turns around slowly, letting their arms cross between them while he refuses to pull out of Tony's grip. His eyes are wide and vulnerable in a body that's stiffer than Tony's ever seen him be, and it melts some of the fear that had taken root in Tony's heart so long ago.

"I love you too, Steve. Romantically," he adds when it looks like Steve's about to close himself off again. "I love you romantically."

Something shifts in Steve's face, something like want, something like hope, and Tony leans into that, taking one staggering step toward him. "Tony—"

"I love you romantically, Steve, and if you're willing to take a chance on me—"

"I am." Tony goes quiet at the easy conviction in Steve's voice. "For you Tony, anything."

Tony almost tries to ignore the way his heart flutters at that, but at the look in Steve's eyes, he indulges. "Yeah?"

Steve takes a step closer too, closing the gap even further and all but crushing their hands that are still between their bodies. "Yeah."

Tony nods, heart in his throat. "Okay, then."

Steve's face splits into a slow grin. "Okay, then." Then he's leaning down to press a gentle, tentative kiss to Tony's lips. Tony can feel his heartbeat in his neck, as though his heart is trying to beat its way out of him through the thin skin over his jugular. He's hot and cold and tingling all over, feeling like he's twelve and being kissed for the first time again. He might as well be in some ways. This is his first time being kissed by someone he knows loves him beyond a shadow of a doubt. Someone that would give anything and everything to keep him safe. Someone that knows every part of him and loves him anyway.

"Steve—"

Steve smiles against Tony's lips. "Right here, Tony."

Tony reaches up, untangling his hand from Steve's and fumbling to get a grasp on Steve's shirt. Steve wraps an arm around his waist in turn, pulling him close and startling a gasp from Tony's lips. Steve's still smiling as he slants his lips against Tony's, kissing and kissing and kissing and Tony never thought something like this would ever be enough for him, but it is. Somehow, it is.

Tony chases Steve's lips when he pulls away. He can't see Steve's smile, but he can hear it in Steve's warm chuckle, and can feel it in the way he rubs his nose gently against Tony's. "Not goin' anywhere, Tony." Tony swallows, shivering at the hint of Brooklyn in Steve's voice. "But you have to know, Tony… you have to know that this could happen again. I'm not letting go of this. I'm not giving up on the opportunity to save you if turning back into a sphinx is the only option. I'm going to do whatever this magic will let me do, and I'm not going to shy away from it, no matter what you and I are to each other."

Tony pulls back, looking up at him. "Even if it means you might get stuck that way?"

"Even if. It's like Thor said, sphinxes are creatures of protection. If I can have the chance to keep you safe, to protect you from your enemies and my enemies and your own bullheaded self, you can be damn sure I will. I'm not walking away from you, Tony, even if that means I might get stuck like that."

Tony laughs, the sound startling him. Then he faceplants into Steve's chest, laughing even harder. "God. You're so fucking stubborn."

Steve wraps an arm around Tony's shoulders and Tony can feel Steve's lips on his temple. "What can I say? I learned from the best."

"Bullshit," Tony says with another laugh, "you were being a stubborn bastard before I was even born."

"Point," Steve concedes. Then he pulls back, searching Tony's eyes. "You're sure this is what you want?"

"I'm sure."

Steve stares at him a moment longer, then nods, kissing Tony quick and easy as anything. "Alright then. Guess it's time for me to get used to walking on four legs every now and again."

Tony squawks, aiming for indignant, but in his heart of hearts he knows the only things he's feeling are relief and, to some extent, a bone-deep fear. He knows what Steve can do, knows what he's capable of, but to have the conviction and certainty turned on him is more than Tony thought he'd have. And to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Steve would drop everything and turn into a— into a creature like that just to keep Tony safe is more than he ever thought he'd have.

A thought occurs to him and he pulls back to meet Steve's eyes. "How much were you aware of when you were like that?" 

Steve blinks. "Not much. I knew who you were, and I knew you needed me. I had some idea of who everyone else was, but at first I wasn't sure they could keep you as safe as I could. The longer I was in that form, the clearer things got. It might even have just been the adrenaline of the shift that kept me from knowing who they were. Could have been a lot of things." Steve looks down at him, all seriousness and certainty. "The one thing that was never in doubt was that you were mine to protect, and I wasn't going to let anyone hurt you. Beyond that, I don't really remember much of what I knew or didn't know." Steve grins at him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "We could do some experiments if you want to know more about how much I can remember in that form."

Tony's heart lurches. "Steve—" He catches sight of the teasing light in Steve's eyes, enough to calm him down. He smacks Steve, throwing a half-hearted glare in his direction. "You're a dick."

Steve laughs, warm and bright, and leans down to kiss Tony again. "Takes one to know one."

Tony rolls his eyes and lets himself be drawn into the kiss, warm and easy as anything. It's not the way he'd have thought this would go when he'd deigned to let himself hope, but damn if he isn't grateful that he got this, whatever way it came.

When Tony pulls back, the horns have reappeared on Steve's head. For a second Tony's heart clenches in his chest. Some of his worry must show on his face because Steve's face softens and, as he closes his eyes, the horns wink out of existence.

Steve opens his eyes and looks back at Tony. "I won't wear them if you don't want me to, But I want you to know that they're still there. That I still love you in every way, shape, and form that I loved you before. Nothing's changed, except maybe how visible my love is."

Tony opens his mouth, brain moving faster than his impulse control as usual, but he holds himself back from asking at the last moment.

Steve must see it, though, because he leans in, nosing at Tony's cheek and breathing against the skin of his lips. "What is it?"

"If… if you're gonna let something be seen…." Tony goes up on tiptoe, brushing his lips against Steve's. "If you're gonna let something be seen, I think I'd rather it be your wings."

Steve's breath stutters. For a moment, Tony thinks he's said the wrong thing. Then Steve's surging against him, kissing the breath from his lungs. The light in the room shifts, and Tony knows instinctively what that means. He smiles against Steve's lips, trying to thank him, but Steve is having none of that. He kisses and kisses and kisses Tony until Tony can't even think straight, too wrapped up in the warmth and crush of Steve's everything. He smiles against Steve's lips, twining his tongue with Steve's as Steve all but devours him.

When Steve finally lets him pull back, it knocks the breath from Tony's lungs. Steve's wings are proportional to his body, huge and brilliant. It's not that Pepper was a small woman by any means, but there's something about being dwarfed by the symbol of Steve's love for him that makes Tony a little weak at the knees. He swallows, looking away from the wings to meet Steve's eyes.

Steve raises an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Tony whispers back.

Steve's answering smile is sign enough that that was the right thing to say. And when the team teases them mercilessly when they make it down to the common rooms until Steve's blush could light up the room, Tony takes pride in the way he slips unter Steve's arm into his embrace and glares them all into submission. He's pretty sure they're just humoring him, but he can't really find it in him to care.

There may be a long road ahead of them, and there may be times when Steve gets stuck as a sphinx because Tony can't love himself enough to free him, but there's nothing to stop them both from loving what they have in the meantime. They both have plenty of issues, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy what they have for now. And what they have for now? Is each other.

It's everything Tony could have asked for and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! Thanks for joining me on this kooky ride, my friends!!


End file.
